Chic Murray Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Mother, Father

  16 Copy quote

• There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Looks

  4 Copy quote

• I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Tunnels

  7 Copy quote

• I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea, as I was a stranger there myself.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Moon

  4 Copy quote

• I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Strings

  4 Copy quote

• This friend of mine had a terrible upbringing. When his mother lifted him up to feed him, his father rented the pram out. Then, when they came into money later, his mother hired a woman to push the pram - and he's been pushed for money ever since.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Mother, Father

  8 Copy quote

• We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Luxury

  4 Copy quote

• A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Machines

  4 Copy quote

• Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.

  Chic Murray

  Funny, Humor, Sleep

  4 Copy quote

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