Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.
In Stage I, divorces were not allowed, so men's [sexual] affairs did not put women's economic security in jeopardy; in Stage II, affairs could lead to divorce, so men's affairs did place women's economic security in jeopardy. We did not want political leaders who would be role models for behavior that would put women's economic security in jeopardy.
Divorces led to bodies of men (called legislatures) protecting women collectively as other men (called husbands) failed to protect women individually.
After a divorce, men's biggest fear is, typically, losing their children (women's is poverty).
Empathy is at the core of family stability and love. I've never had a couple come to me and say, I want a divorce; my partner understands me.
Sex role training becomes divorce training.
When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.
Raising children was not designed for single parents. (Which is why divorce was such a taboo prior to birth control).
When men give lines, women learn to not trust men. When women wear makeup, men learn to not trust women. Male lines and female makeup are divorce training.
Falling in love is biologically natural; sustaining love is biologically un-natural. Sustaining love requires a learned discipline. The discipline of love. The discipline of understanding our partner. (I've never heard someone say I want a divorce - my partner understands me.)
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