Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't.
When I tried to hit puberty I swung and I missed.
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop's another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you're talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It's like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
What's a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of other comedy.
For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
Comedy is very strange to me and I don't fully understand it's purpose or function.
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It's like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, 'I think you try too hard in your comedy.' And that's what I worry about.
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous.
I'm very interested in trying to make comedy shows that are a bit bigger, more theatrical, more of a "show." Some people might say I'm trying too hard, but that's a compliment to me. I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time.
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