You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?
Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.
The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?
I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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