You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if...Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if...the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if...you think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three of the primary colors.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.
You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
or simply:
