Vending Machines Quotes

• I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

  92 Copy quote

• My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

  Caroline Rhea

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

  101 Copy quote

• I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Fall, Humor

  70 Copy quote

• I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Fall, Snacks, Machines

  7 Copy quote

• I'd watch my father get up at 5 o'clock and go down to the Eastern Market in Detroit to do the shopping for his restaurant, and get that business going and then go out on his vending machine business.

  Ed Bradley

  Father, Shopping, Watches

  18 Copy quote

• We need to reform our school lunch programs. We need to get healthy items into the vending machines.

  Joan Lunden

  School, Lunch, Healthy

  17 Copy quote

• I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Real, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Parents have a right to expect that their efforts at home won't be undone each day in the school cafeteria or in the vending machine in the hallway. ...Parents have a right to expect that their kids will be served fresh, healthy food that meets high nutritional standards.

  Michelle Obama

  Children, School, Kids

  20 Copy quote

• One simply turns to the ideological vending machine, and out comes the prepared formulae.

  Daniel Bell

  Machines, Turns, Prepared

  Daniel Bell (1962). “The End of Ideology: On the Exhaustion of Political Ideas in the Fifties : with "The Resumption of History in the New Century"”, p.405, Harvard University Press

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• Vending Machine: "This product has no known nutritional value and may cause irritability or wakefulness in some individuals. Please enjoy your selection and your day." Eve: "Up yours.

  Nora Roberts

  Machines, May, Causes

  J. D. Robb, Nora Roberts (2011). “J.D. Robb THE IN DEATH COLLECTION”, p.505, Penguin

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• We believe that God is like a giant vending machine in the sky. We put in our requests in the form of prayers, and then the vending machine dispenses these prayers based upon how well we've followed the rules that someone else has told us are God's rules.

  Wayne Dyer

  Prayer, Believe, Sky

  "Become A Mighty Manifester An Interview with Wayne Dyer". Interview with Randy Peyser, www.randypeyser.com.

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• I don't see the government as a beverage vending machine, where anyone who happens to be thirsty can grab a drink.

  Mathias Dopfner

  Government, Machines, Beverages

  7 Copy quote

• When all of your decisions are based on economics, you end up with a sameness of vision. You're not taking the risks, you're not exploiting the passions of your creators. You're manufacturing product for a huge vending machine.

  Steven Bochco

  Passion, Decision, Risk

  7 Copy quote

• Male sexual response is far brisker and more automatic. It is triggered easily by things - like putting a quarter in a vending machine.

  Alex Comfort

  Women, Males, Machines

  Alex Comfort (1986). “The Joy of Sex”, Pocket

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• Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine.

  Natasha Leggero

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• Just tell me, Percy, do you still have the birthday gift I gave you last summer?" I nodded and pulled out my camp necklace. It had a bead for every summer I'd been at Camp Half-Blood, but since last year I'd also kept a sand dollar on the cord. My father had given it to me for my fifteenth birthday. He'd told me I would know when to "spend it," but so far I hadn't figured out what he meant. All I knew that it didn't fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria.

  Rick Riordan

  Summer, Father, School

  5 Copy quote

• I turned around and headed back to the stairwell, planning to go downstairs and buy a chocolate bar from the vending machine. Maybe it would fall on me and end my misery.

  Kenneth Oppel

  Fall, Chocolate, Bars

  4 Copy quote

• Some people seem to believe that for each problem there is a solution readily available - a solution that can be promptly achieved by passing a law and voting some money. I think of this as the vending machine concept of social change. Put a coin in the machine and out comes a piece of candy. If there is a social problem, pass a law and out comes a solution.

  John W. Gardner

  Believe, Thinking, Law

  6 Copy quote

• I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up? That's a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. "Yeah, what candy bar are you getting?" "That one, and every one on the bottom row!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Block, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• It's safe to assume that by 2085 guns will be sold in vending machines but you won't be able to smoke anywhere in America.

  David Sedaris

  Gun, America, Machines

  4 Copy quote

• You can use the Internet to find out, from anywhere on the planet: exactly how much coffee is in a certain coffee machine at Cambridge University in England; exactly how many sodas are available in certain vending machines at certain major universities; and much, much more.

  Dave Barry

  Coffee, Cambridge University, Machines

  4 Copy quote

• Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.

  Fred Reed

  Law, America, Machines

  11 Copy quote

• Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

  Jon Stewart

  Waiting, Machines, Scripts

  "Listening In as Writers Return to Late-Night Shows". "All Things Considered" with Melissa Block, www.npr.org. February 14, 2008.

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• The Holy Spirit's power cannot be harnessed. His power cannot be used to accomplish anything other than the Father's will. He is not a candy dispenser. He is not a vending machine. He is not a genie waiting for someone to rub His lamp the right way. He is holy God.

  Charles Stanley

  Father, Waiting, Lamps

  Charles Stanley (1995). “The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life”, p.78, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• Mom used to walk with me for something like two or three miles to get to the day-old bakery. They had those machines where you buy doughnuts, those vending machines with the long johns and doughnuts. We would buy those bagels and pastries because that was our treat. And come back with shopping bags of these sweets, and who knows what was in it? That was what we could afford that could feed that many people.

  Sandra Cisneros

  Mom, Sweet, Shopping

  "Talking in Our Pajamas: A Conversation with Sandra Cisneros on Finding Your Voice, Fear of Highways, Tacos, Travel, and the Need for Peace in the World". Interview with Ruth Behar, quod.lib.umich.edu. 2008.

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