Testicles Quotes - Page 2

• They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work.

  William S. Burroughs

  Science, People, Ego

  William S. Burroughs (2007). “Word Virus: The William S. Burroughs Reader”, p.348, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• I started puberty very late. I was nearly sixteen. And for complicated reasons this late arrival of my puberty caused me to stop playing competitive tennis. But before my puberty problem, I had trouble with my lower back and with my left testicle.

  Jonathan Ames

  Tennis, Sixteen, Complicated

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• Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles.

  Alejandro Jodorowsky

  Inspirational, Motivational, Eye

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• Before going mountain bike riding, it's a good idea to leave your valuables at home. Your testicles, for example.

  John Dockery

  Sex, Home, Ideas

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• You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself.

  John Dobbin

  Cat, Fake, Dollars

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• I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.

  Christopher Titus

  Father, Heart, Cake

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• Beware of averages. The average person has one breast and one testicle.

  Dixie Lee Ray

  Average, Breasts, Persons

  "How Many Lawyers Do You Need To Fry Spam?" by Jean Godden, community.seattletimes.nwsource.com. October 9, 1991.

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• The first thing to say about Eve is that she was a big improvement on the Adam design, or that Adam was an extremely misguided variation on the Eve design. (Consider testicles. Two concentrated nuclei of absolute vulnerability. Where? Dangling between the legs. I rest my case.)

  Glen Duncan

  Two, Design, Variation

  Glen Duncan (2007). “I, Lucifer: Finally, the Other Side of the Story”, p.35, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• What in the name of Zeus's testicles?

  Darynda Jones

  Names, Zeus

  Darynda Jones (2012). “Third Grave Dead Ahead”, p.159, Macmillan

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• Oh, sheez, what’s Syd Vicious doing back in town? (Payne) How’d the testicle retrieval go, Payne? You still limping?...Thought so. I got the thank-you card from Planned Parenthood last week. Seems they want to honor me for saving the gene pool. (Syd)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Honor, Cards, Saving

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2005). “Bad Attitude”, p.11, Simon and Schuster

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• I've been sniffing out the guys in my English class (to the extent that this is possible without getting my throat cut), but they smell the same way they always do: like feet and testicles. As opposed to freesias. I don't want to keep sniffing them, Lyd. - Letter from Seb to Lyd.

  Jaclyn Moriarty

  Cutting, Class, Smell

  Jaclyn Moriarty (2010). “The Year of Secret Assignments”, p.177, Scholastic Inc.

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• One really understands testicles after reading 'The Family Jewels,' and one is gratified.

  Cathleen Schine

  Reading, Jewels

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• In southern Spain, they made me eat a bull's testicles. They were really garlicky, which I don't like. I prefer to take a bull by the horns, not by, um...

  Padma Lakshmi

  Southern, Spain, Bulls

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• My voice is the only material thing in which I can still reveal myself. Go ahead and cut off the hand or the testicles of a voice. Try to find the head of a voice, the orifice through which it passes, or even the breasts to which you can attach the clips of your electrodes. Nothing. Resonant tooth.

  Abdellatif Laabi

  Cutting, Hands, Voice

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• My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow.

  Dan Brown

  Boards, Breakfast, Lawyer

  Dan Brown (2003). “The Da Vinci Code: A Novel”

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• It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT

  Darynda Jones

  Fun, Games, Sidekicks

  Darynda Jones (2013). “Fifth Grave Past the Light”, p.125, St. Martin's Press

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• I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that's saying something for a vegetarian.

  Steven Morrissey

  Reform, Vegetarian, My Own

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• My writing routine is everyday I put a record on, the same one since 20 years. Then I burn a stick of incense, I put perfume here on the insides of my soles, I paint my left testicle red, and I write.

  Alejandro Jodorowsky

  Writing, Years, Everyday

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• Because men, compared to male chimps, have such relatively small testicles (large testicles indicate a species where many males mate, one after the other, with the same female), we might guess that promiscuous societies were uncommon in the immediate human past.

  Carl Sagan

  Past, Men, Males

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• Boris [Johnson] and Dave [Cameron] gnawed each other's testicles [during the Tory civil war which blighted the EU referendum].

  Ken Livingstone

  War, Referendums, Dave

  Source: www.mirror.co.uk

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• I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  "You Are All Diseased". Book by George Carlin, 1999.

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• Are you always this random? (Jericho) Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus) Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho) Oh. You’re not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus) No plans to. (Jericho) Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Long, People, Add

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• We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men's testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned.

  Susan J. Douglas

  Children, Hate, Selfish

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• I take offense to that. (Pandora) And I take offense to my sudden need for a testicle retrieval. You know, I would have liked to have fathered children one day. (Mike)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Children, One Day, Needs

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2016). “Winter Born”, p.190, St. Martin's Press

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• A pox on both his testicles! (Esperetta)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Pox

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