Practical Joke Quotes - Page 2

• My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.

  Howie Mandel

  Tv Shows, Circles, Full Circle

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• I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.

  Christopher Titus

  Father, Heart, Cake

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too.

  Reba McEntire

  And Love, Mama, Sense Of Humor

  Source: www.sheknows.com

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• My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up and everyone I know is like LOL JK BEST LONG - RUNNING PRACTICAL JOKE EVER, so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything. Not in an effort to be cool or not care or anything, just out of neurosis.

  Tavi Gevinson

  Running, Expectations, Long

  Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

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• I'd worked with Marlon [Brando] a couple of times, and he was a practical joker. He was far more interested in getting jokes out than getting the words out. We laughed all the time.

  Johnny Depp

  Couple, Brando, Practicals

  "Johnny Depp on His Varied Career, Jack Sparrow, and “Torturing” Leonardo DiCaprio". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. February 6, 2016.

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• The practical joke is the psychiatry of baseball.

  Ron Luciano

  Baseball, Psychiatry, Practicals

  Ron Luciano, David Fisher (1984). “Strike Two”, G K Hall & Company

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• When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.

  Mark Twain

  Jobs, Indulge In, Ignorant

  Mark Twain (2013). “Autobiography of Mark Twain”, p.4, Univ of California Press

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• I think I have a reputation for being really serious. In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball. I play practical jokes all the time.

  Darren Hayes

  Emotional, Thinking, Play

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• I was in California the first time I heard Michael Jackson wanted to record with me. I was, like, 'Nah, no way, he's too big, it can't be true.' Then I got a call from Michael's people at my hotel telling me he was interested. But I still wasn't believing it - I thought they were setting me up for a TV practical jokes show.

  Heavy D

  Believe, California, People

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Sometimes I feel that I am destined always to be offstage whenever the main action occurs. That God has made me the victim of some cosmic practical joke, by assigning me little more than a walk-on part in my own life. Or sometimes I feel that my role is simply to be a spectator to other people's stories, and always to wander away at the most important moment, drifiting into the kitchen to make a cup of tea just as the denouement unfolds.

  Jonathan Coe

  People, Kitchen, Tea

  Jonathan Coe (2001). “The rotters' club”

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• Oh, I don't know. I prefer to think that when they're at home, the Silent Brothers are much like us. Playing practical jokes in the Silent City, making toasted cheese-" "I hope they play charades," said Tessa Dryly. "It would seem to take advantage of their natural talents.

  Cassandra Clare

  Brother, Home, Thinking

  Cassandra Clare (2013). “The Infernal Devices: Clockwork Angel; Clockwork Prince; Clockwork Princess”, p.505, Simon and Schuster

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• A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke.

  Joshua Lederberg

  Newspapers, Newspaper Reporters, Said

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• The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Vegetables, Stupidity, Cooking

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

  Penn Jillette

  Reason, Practicals, Jokes

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• Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.

  Larry David

  Feels, Practicals, Persons

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• My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me.

  Lincoln Steffens

  Father, Practice, Care

  Lincoln Steffens (1962). “The World of Lincoln Steffens”

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• The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Humorous, Heart

  Mark Twain (1992). “Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, and Essays, Volume 1: 1852-1890”, p.725, Library of America

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• I'm just not the outgoing bubble of energy. But if I know you, it's different. Practical jokes. Have fun. I'm not looking for any new friends. I got my friends.

  Eric Dickerson

  Fun, Energy, Different

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• When I was coaching with the Patriots, the players pulled a practical joke and I said, 'Do you think I'm Charlie the Tuna, like a sucker?' After that, they called me Tuna.

  Bill Parcells

  Thinking, Player, Coaching

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