Licking Quotes - Page 4

• New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s no stopping us until we’re licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that we’re really not capable of: restraint and math.

  Bill Maher

  Mean, Math, Two

  Bill Maher (2011). “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass”, p.196, Penguin

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• And there are my cats, engaged in a ritual that goes back thousands of years, tranquilly licking themselves after the meal. Practical animals, they prefer to have others provide the food ... some of them do. There must have been a split between the cats who accepted domestication and those who did not.

  William S. Burroughs

  Cat, Animal, Years

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• 

  The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

  Andy Rooney

  Inspirational, Funny, Dog

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• Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.

  Agatha Christie

  Wise, Wisdom, Dog

  Agatha Christie (2010). “The Moving Finger (Miss Marple)”, p.16, HarperCollins UK

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• That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you.

  Carl Hiaasen

  Fun, Worry, Joy

  FaceBook post by Carl Hiaasen from Mar 08, 2015

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• I sat in the sun on a bench; the animal within me licking the chops of memory; the spiritual side a little drowsed, promising subsequent penitence, but not yet moved to begin.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Spiritual, Memories, Animal

  Robert Louis Stevenson (2011). “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: A Kaplan SAT Score-Raising Classic”, p.69, Simon and Schuster

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• This soldier, I realized, must have had friends at home and in his regiment; yet he lay there deserted by all except his dog. I looked on, unmoved, at battles which decided the future of nations. Tearless, I had given orders which brought death to thousands. Yet here I was stirred, profoundly stirred, stirred to tears. And by what? By the grief of one dog. Napoleon Bonaparte, on finding a dog beside the body of his dead master, licking his face and howling, on a moonlit field after a battle. Napoleon was haunted by this scene until his own death.

  Napoleon Bonaparte

  Dog, Grief, Home

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• The Grammys make me hate music, and certainly everyone in the ass-licking music industry.

  Trent Reznor

  Hate, Ass, Music Industry

  "Trent Reznor Slams Grammys With A 'Heartfelt F**k You' After Performance Cut-Off". www.contactmusic.com. January 27, 2014.

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• Animals are just pure, uncomplicated entities of creation from God. They live like the Maasai do in Kenya-for each day is forever to them and the "Now" is what they live in. You can get aggravated with your pets and yell at them, but in a matter of minutes they are licking your hand again in love.

  Sylvia Browne

  Animal, Hands, Forever

  Sylvia Browne (2009). “All Pets Go To Heaven: The Spiritual Lives of the Animals We Love”, p.8, Simon and Schuster

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• But [Pooh] couldn't sleep. The more he tried to sleep the more he couldn't. He tried counting Sheep, which is sometimes a good way of getting to sleep, and, as that was no good, he tried counting Heffalumps. And that was worse. Because every Heffalump that he counted was making straight for a pot of Pooh's honey, and eating it all. For some minutes he lay there miserably, but when the five hundred and eighty-seventh Heffalump was licking its jaws, and saying to itself, "Very good honey this, I don't know when I've tasted better," Pooh could bear it no longer.

  A. A. Milne

  Sleep, Insomnia, Sheep

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• Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again - the first kiss of the rest of your life.

  Saul Williams

  Love, Life, Romantic

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