Irs Quotes - Page 2

• Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

  Peg Bracken

  Memorable, Cutting, Two

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• IRS is very poorly equipped to make a distinction between what is a religion and what is not.

  Lawrence Wright

  Distinction

  "Lawrence Wright on 'Going Clear'". Interview with Mark Guarino, www.chicagotribune.com. January 18, 2013.

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• I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee.

  Lois Lerner

  Law, Broken, Regulation

  "IRS official in charge of targeting unit takes the 5th" by Tom Cohen, www.cnn.com. May 23, 2013.

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• The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

  Arthur C. Clarke

  Zero, Funny Life, Business

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners". Book by Geoff Tibballs (p. 264), 2004.

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• It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

  Dave Barry

  Income, Taxation, Taxes Funny

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• The United States has a system of taxation by confession

  Hugo Black

  America, United States, Taxation

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• When things get tough, this is what you should do: Make good art. I'm serious. Husband runs off with a politician -- make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by a mutated boa constrictor -- make good art. IRS on your trail -- make good art. Cat exploded -- make good art. Someone on the Internet thinks what you're doing is stupid or evil or it's all been done before -- make good art.

  Neil Gaiman

  Running, Art, Husband

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• The theory of the IRS is rather repugnant to me because the assumption is made that I, the government, owns 100% of your income and I permit you to keep 5%, 10% or 20%. You're vulnerable, you've sold out. The government can take 80% if they want, which they did at one time.

  Ron Paul

  Government, Income, Want

  "Ron Paul | Candidates at Google". Interview with Elliot Schrage, www.youtube.com. July 14, 2007.

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• There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.

  Ted Cruz

  Code

  "Ted Cruz: Anti-amnesty candidate can win a general election". "The Hannity Show", www.foxnews.com. November 11, 2015.

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• One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

  Tom Coburn

  Hemorrhoids, Opinion, Witch

  "Sen. Tom Coburn: A proud contrarian". "60 minutes" with Lesley Stahl, www.cbsnews.com. December 21, 2014.

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• Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Writing, Names, Lists

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• Well, what did we buy? Instead of a leaner, smarter government, we bought a bureaucracy that now tells us which light bulbs to buy, and which will put 16,500 IRS agents in charge of policing President Obama's health care bill.

  Michele Bachmann

  Light, Government, President

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• Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

  Jay Leno

  Fools Day, People, Trying

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• Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

  Dave Barry

  Real, Advice, Taxation

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• It's a game. We tax lawyers teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich-and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.

  John Grisham

  Teaching, Games, Play

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• Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

  Jay Leno

  Liberty, Libertarian, Form

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• The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Long, Brain

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• Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.

  Jay Leno

  Dollars, Warren Buffet, Enough

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• Its contempt for citizens ... is so routine, and so unlimited, that the agency has become a kind of Frankenstein, running wild and terrorizing Americans at will. The IRS hypocritically requires mistake-free returns when its own books are in shambles. It demands exorbitant sums of money without regard to the accuracy of its claims. It doesn't hesitate to use every possible maneuver to get what it wants, sometimes destroying businesses -- and lives -- in the process.

  James Bovard

  Running, Mistake, Book

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• Cruel and paradoxical though it undoubtedly is, the record shows that yje most succesful 20th century monarchs have been those who were not actually born to succeed. King George VI was 41 when the abdication of Edward VIII propelled him suddenly and unexpectedly to take up the crown; and Queen Elizabeth II spent her first decade with no inkling thay she herself might one day have to reign. Taken together, these examples suggest that the best preparation for the job of sovereign is not to be prepared for it at all, ir not to be too well prepared for it, or for too long.

  David Cannadine

  Kings, Jobs, Queens

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• Mr. Speaker, in 1848, Karl Marx said, a progressive income tax is needed to transfer wealth and power to the state. Thus, Marx's Communist Manifesto had as its major economic tenet a progressive income tax. Think about it, 1848 Karl Marx, Communism.... I say it is time to replace the progressive income tax with a national retail sales tax, and it is time to abolish the IRS, my colleagues. I yield back all the rules, regulations, fear, and intimidation of our current system.

  James Traficant

  Thinking, America, Yield

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• Today's political leaders demonstrate their low opinion of the public with every social law they pass. They believe that, if given the right to chose, the citizenry will probably make the wrong choice. Legislators do not think any more in terms of persuading people; they feel the need to force their agenda on the public at the point of a bayonet and the barrel of a gun, in the name of the IRS, the SEC, the FDA, the DEA, the EPA, or a multitude of other ABCs of government authority.

  Mark Skousen

  Believe, Thinking, Gun

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• We need to call what is happening out of Washington, D.C., what it is: Bureaucratic terrorism: If you want a list of stories, I could go through a bunch of them, and I could highlight a few: One of them was the IRS audit of my good friend Phil Hart, he's sitting in the audience today. That was bureaucratic terrorism.

  Matt Shea

  Inspiring, Good Friend, Insightful

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• What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

  Tracy Morgan

  Men, Doors, People

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• Jay Carney, whose unenviable job is not to explain but to explain away what his employers say, calls the IRS’s behavior “inappropriate. ” No, using the salad fork for the entree is inappropriate. Using the Internal Revenue Service for political purposes is a criminal offense.

  George Will

  Jobs, Political, Criminals

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