Insult Quotes - Page 9

• If I found Yoko Ono floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.

  Joan Rivers

  Dog, Floating, Pool

  "Joan Rivers' Most Memorable Insults" by Hilary Lewis and Colin Stutz, www.hollywoodreporter.com. September 04, 2014.

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• He's a male chauvinistic piglet.

  Betty Friedan

  Piglet, Males

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• Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.

  George Jean Nathan

  Writing, Play, Age

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• When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you're near.

  Samuel Hoffenstein

  Love, Lonely, Bored

  Samuel Hoffenstein (1954). “Complete Poetry”

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• Every great thinker is someone else's moron.

  Umberto Eco

  Moron, Thinker, Great Thinkers

  Umberto Eco (2007). “Foucault's Pendulum”, p.76, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• The causes of the China Incident were the exclusion and insult of Japan throughout China, the exclusion of Japanese goods, the persecution of Japanese residents in China, and the illegal violation of Japanese rights

  Hideki Tojo

  Rights, Japan, Causes

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• Exhaustion has a way of parting the veils between men, not so much because the effort of censoring their words exceeds them, but because weariness is the foe of volatility. Oft times insults that would pierce the wakeful simply thud against the sleepless and fatigued.

  R. Scott Bakker

  Men, Effort, Veils

  R. Scott Bakker (2012). “The White-Luck Warrior: Book Two”, p.127, The Overlook Press

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• No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

  Jesse Eisenberg

  Compliment, Courses, Sufficient

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• Disrespect cannot be commanded, it must be earned.

  Matthew Taberner

  Disrespect

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• Don't say yes until I finish talking.

  Darryl F. Zanuck

  Humorous, Talking

  "Hollywood Flashback: In the 1930s, Darryl F. Zanuck Had a Killer Instinct" by Bill Higgins, www.hollywoodreporter.com. June 23, 2016.

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• Look, we're Americans: optimistic, addicted to the quick fix, constantly on the hunt for the new and exotic. It's much easier for us to accept a guy with a big white beard hawking his own custom blend of saw palmetto and squirrel dandruff that it is to hear a real doctor telling us to lay off the big macs, and get off our fat asses and take a walk every decade or so.

  Dennis Miller

  Real, Optimistic, White

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• She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.

  Garrison Keillor

  Block, Men, Cities

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• Men have periods too, they just don't bleed.

  Tori Amos

  Men, Periods

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• If your mind isn't open, keep your mouth shut too.

  Sue Grafton

  Mind, Mouths, Ifs

  Sue Grafton (1996). “"M" is for Malice”, p.81, Macmillan

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• Faith is not a function of stupidity but a frequent cause of it.

  Wendy Kaminer

  Stupidity, Causes, Function

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• A humanitarian is always a hypocrite.

  George Orwell

  Hypocrite, Humanitarian

  George Orwell (1970). “A Collection of Essays”, p.120, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Your reality, Sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever!

  Baron Munchhausen

  Lying, Reality, Delighted

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• You see, it's essential that one of us stays awake during the flight [ballon]. So, rather than using the comfortable Virgin seats which we used to cross the Atlantic, we've asked British Airways for two of theirs.

  Richard Branson

  Two, Essentials, Flight

  Richard Branson (1998). “Losing My Virginity: How I've Survived, Had Fun, and Made a Fortune Doing Business My Way”, Crown Pub

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• Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humor, Introduction

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

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• They turned the country up on its side, and everything loose fell into California.

  Frank Lloyd Wright

  Country, California, Sides

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• He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fence-post and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce.

  Fintan O'Toole

  Fence Post, Week, Railway Station

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• He's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.

  Shirley MacLaine

  Real, Gentleman, Magnolias

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• I lifted the lid and found a piece of bread and some water—and a rat that quickly darted off the tray. Talk about adding insult to injury.

  Richelle Mead

  Insult To Injury, Water, Pieces

  Richelle Mead (2011). “Shadow Heir”, p.287, Kensington Publishing Corp.

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• Literature is invention. Fiction is fiction. To call a story a true story is an insult to both art and truth.

  Vladimir Nabokov

  Art, Writing, Fiction

  "Lectures on Literature".

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• You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Nice, Humor

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

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