Humour Quotes - Page 3

• My father used to brag that I wasn't a ham, I was the whole pig.

  Jim Carrey

  Father, Pigs, Ham

  Commencement Speech at Maharishi University of Management, www.mum.edu. May 24, 2014.

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• Laughter is an independent, tremendously important, and lurid emotion.

  Wyndham Lewis

  Laughter, Independent, Important

  "Contemporary Verse". Book by Kenneth Allott, 1948.

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• He laughs best whose laugh lasts.

  Laurence J. Peter

  Laughing, Lasts

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• Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.

  Alan Bennett

  Inspirational, Funny, Wall

  Alan Bennett (2008). “Alan Bennett Plays 1: Forty Years On, Getting On, Habeas Corpus and Enjoy”, p.53, Faber & Faber

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• It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At the time, they were the two most unpleasant cultures in the entire world, and richly deserved each other. Still, the story of how stout Cortes blustered, bullied and bludgeoned his way to collapsing an entire empire with a handful of contagious hoodlums is astonishing.

  A. A. Gill

  Two, History, Heaven

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• The world belongs to those who set out to conquer it armed with self confidence and good humour.

  Charles Dickens

  Self Confidence, World, Conquer

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• The wise man doesn't give the right answers, he poses the right questions.

  Claude Levi-Strauss

  Inspirational, Wise, Wisdom

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• Humour is but the faint terrestrial echo of the hideous laughter of the blind mad gods that squat leeringly and sardonically in caverns beyond the Milky Way. It is a hollow thing, sweet on the outside, but filled with the pathos of fruitless aspiration.

  H. P. Lovecraft

  Sweet, Laughter, Echoes

  "Collected Essays, Volume 5: Philosophy" edited by S. T. Joshi, (p. 54), 2006.

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• Please go on, make your threats. I don't like to submit to mere implication.

  Marcus Tullius Cicero

  History, Historical, Goes On

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• Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

  Lord Chesterfield

  Funny, Humor, Soil

  Lord Chesterfield, David Roberts (2008). “Lord Chesterfield's Letters”, p.109, Oxford University Press

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• Cling tight to your sense of humour. You will need it every day.

  T. E. Lawrence

  Needs

  T. E. Lawrence (2015). “The Collected Works of Lawrence of Arabia (Unabridged): Seven Pillars of Wisdom + The Mint + The Evolution of a Revolt + Complete Letters (Including Translations of The Odyssey and The Forest Giant)”, p.1260, e-artnow

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• Humour is human. Why? Well, because the Philosopher, Aristotle, says so.

  Simon Critchley

  Philosopher, Wells, Humans

  Simon Critchley (2011). “On Humour”, p.34, Routledge

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• One minute I'm exactly what Churchill described me the most powerful man in history. Now the Order's given, hell; I'm just audience front row center to the shoe. But a Corporal on Juno, a Private on Utah there the ones who will affect the outcome not me. It's up to them now.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Powerful, Men, Order

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• He and I always think the same things are funny, and that is such a lot; it's dreadful when two people's senses of humour are antagonistic. I don't believe there's any bridging that gulf! And he is--Oh, well! He is just himself, and I miss him, and miss him, and miss him. The whole world seems empty and aching. I hate the moonlight because it's beautiful and he isn't here to see it with me. But maybe you've loved somebody, too, and you know? If you have, I don't need to explain; if you haven't, I can't explain.

  Jean Webster

  Beautiful, Hate, Believe

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• Don’t take this the wrong way, but you smell like Magnus.

  Cassandra Clare

  Smell, Way, Inkheart

  Twitter post from Jul 15, 2011

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• Humour is the shortest road from one person to another.

  Georges Wolinski

  Persons

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• Human humour often consists of pretending to wish something does not really wish.

  Katherine Applegate

  Wish, Doe, Pretending

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• And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I'm pathetic, helpless in my current state, completely dependent on her? Or is it my sense of humour, my willingness to tease her, to joke my way into painful, secret places? Do I help her understand herself? Do I make her happy? Do I do something for her that her husband and son can't do? Has she fallen in love with me? As the days pass and I continue to heal, my body knitting itself back together, I begin to allow myself to think that she has.

  Mohsin Hamid

  Beautiful, Husband, Son

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• You could ask me to teach you.” “Huh?” This night is getting weird in a hurry. “Teach me like you’re teaching a class or something? What are you going to call it: ‘You Too Can Be a Sociopath 101’?” “It would be more like a graduate-level class.” I start to snicker. His sense of humour sneaks up on you. Then I remember who’s talking and bite it off.

  Karen Marie Moning

  Teaching, Night, Talking

  Karen Marie Moning (2012). “Iced: Fever Series”, p.118, Delacorte Press

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• Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead thing, until I became a member of the undead. Then I realized it was a Tod-thing.

  Rachel Vincent

  Able, Members, Situation

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• Humour is the best way to make the unbearable bearable.

  Mary Ann Shaffer

  Way, Unbearable, Bearable

  Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows (2009). “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society”, p.31, A&C Black

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• A day without laughter is a day wasted.

  Charlie Chaplin

  Funny, Good Morning, Happiness

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• Now that their long war was over, they could get on with the proper concern of all civilised nations, which is to prepare for the next one.

  Terry Pratchett

  War, Long, History

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• Sometimes humour is all we have to say the things that can't be said.

  Simon R. Green

  Sometimes, Said

  Simon R. Green (2003). “Agents Of Light And Darkness”, p.146, Penguin

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• As Carrie Fisher once said in a film, everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humour.

  Jane Green

  Thinking, Taste, Film

  Jane Green (2001). “Mr. Maybe”, p.187, Broadway Books

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