I'm going through a divorce now. This is the second one, and like baseball, I'm not gonna get three strikes. I've been living by myself for five years and I'm very comfortable. I can play my guitar when I want to.
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
If you're going through hell, keep going.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
Divorce isn't such a tragedy. A tragedy's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.
Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.
I can't get divorced because I'm a Catholic. Catholics don't get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended.
American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced.
I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.
Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
Divorce is one of the most stressful life events anyone goes through.
A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.
Regret and fear are twin thieves that rob us of today.
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.
In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.
You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
Divorce is one of the most financially traumatic things you can go through. Money spent on getting mad or getting even is money wasted.
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