Funny Mothers Day Quotes

• When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Mothers Day, Mom

  60 Copy quote

• God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.

  Rudyard Kipling

  Mothers Day, God, Christian

  102 Copy quote

• When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Family, Mom

  99 Copy quote

• My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

  Mark Twain

  Mothers Day, Mom, Baby

  Mark Twain (1961). “Twain: Wit and Wisecracks”

  26 Copy quote

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• When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.

  Sophia Loren

  Motivational, Family, Mothers Day

  121 Copy quote
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  If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

  Milton Berle

  Funny, Mothers Day, Hilarious

  248 Copy quote

• Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.

  William Feather

  Mothers Day, Mom, Children

  William Feather (1949). “The Business of Life”

  11 Copy quote

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• My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Funny, Mom, Mother

  "They're not laughing now". www.theguardian.com. December 29, 2003.

  19 Copy quote

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• As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

  Buddy Hackett

  Funny, Family, Mothers Day

  106 Copy quote

• Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother

  Lin Yutang

  Mothers Day, Mom, Parenting

  19 Copy quote

• OF COURSE I'd like to be the ideal mother. But I'm too busy raising children.

  Bil Keane

  Mother, Children, Parenting

  8 Copy quote

• Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.

  Stevie Wonder

  Mothers Day, Mom, Sweet

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  83 Copy quote

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• Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

  Sam Levenson

  Funny, Mothers Day, Hilarious

  52 Copy quote

• I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

  Phyllis Diller

  Funny, Family, Mom

  77 Copy quote

• I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Life, Family, Mothers Day

  Abraham Lincoln (1907). “The Lincoln Year Book: Axioms and Aphorisms from the Great Emancipator”, p.25, Library of Alexandria

  42 Copy quote

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• My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

  Tim Allen

  Funny, Mom, Mother

  30 Copy quote

• All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Mothers Day, Mom

  The Importance of Being Earnest act 1 (1895). The same lines appear, as a dialogue between Lord Illingworth and Mrs. Allonby, in A Woman of No Importance, act 2 (1893).

  54 Copy quote

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• My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia

  Barry Humphries

  Funny, Friendship, Mom

  10 Copy quote

• Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.

  William Makepeace Thackeray

  Family, Mothers Day, God

  William Makepeace Thackeray (1853). “Vanity Fair: A Novel Without a Hero”, p.317

  79 Copy quote

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• Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

  Mark Twain

  Children, Effort, Parent

  12 Copy quote

• My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.

  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

  Basketball, Mother, Pay

  19 Copy quote

• Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.

  Haim Ginott

  Happy Mothers Day, Children, Parenting

  54 Copy quote

• No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.

  Florida Scott-Maxwell

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

  Measure of my Days (1968) p. 16

  37 Copy quote

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• The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.

  Honore de Balzac

  Family, Mothers Day, Mom

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  90 Copy quote

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• A mother who is really a mother is never free.

  Honore de Balzac

  Mothers Day, Parenting, Parenthood

  "Letters of Two Brides". Book by Honoré de Balzac, 1842.

  17 Copy quote

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