Funny Food Quotes - Page 3

• I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Birthday, Humor

  61 Copy quote

• Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

  M. F. K. Fisher

  Love, Food, Health

  1949 An Alphabet for Gourmets,'A Is for Dining Alone'.

  94 Copy quote

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• Never trust a skinny cook.

  Iain Hewitson

  Food, Skinny, Never Trust

  "Never Trust a Skinny Cook: Huey's Culinary Travelogue". Book by Iain Hewitson, 2005.

  7 Copy quote

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• My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

  Orson Welles

  Food, Health, Weight Loss

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  86 Copy quote

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• Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!

  Chi Chi Rodriguez

  Funny, Food, Health

  17 Copy quote

• It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it.

  Julia Child

  Food, Cooking, Culinary

  29 Copy quote

• I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!

  Bill Watterson

  Vegetarian, Dessert, Wordplay

  55 Copy quote

• One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Benefits, Salad, Eating

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Jul 01, 2013

  40 Copy quote

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• The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

  Calvin Trillin

  Funny, Mothers Day, Mom

  50 Copy quote

• Cotton candy is the perfect snack for when I'm in the mood to eat dry, scratchy fabric.

  Demetri Martin

  Snacks, Perfect, Dry

  FaceBook post by Demetri Martin from Apr 09, 2013

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• My idea of fast food is a mallard.

  Ted Nugent

  Funny, Food, Hunting

  "America Nuge". Interview with Larry Kudlow, www.nationalreview.com. May 17, 2002.

  57 Copy quote

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• What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Disappointment, Ingredients, Dressings

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Sep 17, 2011

  4 Copy quote

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• I like to think of bread as really bland cake.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Cake, Bread

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Sep 28, 2013

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• Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.

  Enrico Caruso

  Drinking, Food, Faces

  60 Copy quote

• When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don't think I can eat eight.'

  Yogi Berra

  Funny, Food, Cutting

  60 Copy quote

• Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

  Jim Davis

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

  100 Copy quote

• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  47 Copy quote

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• A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussel sprouts never do.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Food, Wine

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

  59 Copy quote

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• Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

  Samuel Johnson

  Food, Cucumbers, Vinegar

  In James Boswell 'Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides' (1785) 5 October 1773

  105 Copy quote

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• You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

  Ronald Reagan

  Food, Character, Patriotic

  In New York Times 15 Jan. 1981

  77 Copy quote

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• Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!

  Dave Niehaus

  Funny, Baseball, Food

  40 Copy quote

• Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.

  Woody Allen

  Reality, World, May

  61 Copy quote

• Let's face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.

  Audrey Hepburn

  Inspiring, Wedding, Nice

  111 Copy quote

• A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite.

  Leo Tolstoy

  Food, Health, Animal

  Leo Tolstoy (graf) (1911). “The novels and other works of Lyof N. Tolstoï”

  88 Copy quote

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• When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because Raid really doesn't taste that bad.

  Janette Barber

  Dieting, Cookies, Weight

  17 Copy quote