Calvin Trillin Quotes

Quotes about:

• The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

  Calvin Trillin

  Funny, Mothers Day, Mom

  50 Copy quote

• Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

  Calvin Trillin

  Strong, Texas, Grease

  Calvin Trillin (2011). “Trillin on Texas”, p.1, University of Texas Press

  50 Copy quote

• As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

  Calvin Trillin

  Inspirational, Writing, Sound

  Calvin Trillin (1988). “If you can't say something nice”, Penguin Group USA

  31 Copy quote

• In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.

  Calvin Trillin

  Writing, America, Events

  Calvin Trillin (1987). “Uncivil liberties”, Penguin Group USA

  22 Copy quote

• Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

  Calvin Trillin

  Hard Work, Ideas, Degenerates

  19 Copy quote

• If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?

  Calvin Trillin

  Funny, School, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

  Calvin Trillin

  Teacher, Math, Answers

  15 Copy quote

• Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

  Calvin Trillin

  People, Three, Trouble

  18 Copy quote

• There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

  Calvin Trillin

  Fun, California, America

  7 Copy quote

• Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

  Calvin Trillin

  Girl, Mother, Dinner Guests

  Calvin Trillin (1984). “Third Helpings”, Viking Press

  7 Copy quote

• I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

  Calvin Trillin

  Thinking, Mind, World

  5 Copy quote

• Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

  Calvin Trillin

  Firsts, Burden, Restaurants

  7 Copy quote

• I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

  Calvin Trillin

  Immigration, Favors, Restaurants

  20 Copy quote

• Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

  Calvin Trillin

  Color, Dry, Selling

  4 Copy quote

• Following the Romanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away.

  Calvin Trillin

  Vampire, Excess, Garlic

  8 Copy quote

• I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.

  Calvin Trillin

  Texas, Enough, Chili

  12 Copy quote

• When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!

  Calvin Trillin

  People, Finals, Sitting

  16 Copy quote

• Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.

  Calvin Trillin

  Jewish Tradition, Giving, Vampire

  Calvin Trillin (2009). “Alice, Let's Eat: Further Adventures of a Happy Eater”, p.64, Random House

  20 Copy quote

• You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

  Calvin Trillin

  Monday, Writing, Sunday

  4 Copy quote

• The price of purity is purists.

  Calvin Trillin

  Purity

  Calvin Trillin (1974). “American fried; adventures of a happy eater”

  7 Copy quote

• I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

  Calvin Trillin

  Teacher, Teaching, School

  Calvin Trillin (1988). “If you can't say something nice”, Penguin Group USA

  16 Copy quote

• The talk shows are stuffed full of sufferers who have regained their health--congressmen who suffered through a serious spell of boozing and skirt-chasing, White House aides who were stricken cruelly with overweening ambition, movie stars and baseball players who came down with acute cases of wanting to trash hotel rooms while under the influence of recreational drugs. Most of them have found God, or at least a publisher.

  Calvin Trillin

  Baseball, Stars, Ambition

  5 Copy quote

• I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

  Calvin Trillin

  Long, Care, Feds

  5 Copy quote

• Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.

  Calvin Trillin

  Home, Missing, Kind

  Calvin Trillin (1974). “American fried; adventures of a happy eater”

  9 Copy quote

• The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

  Calvin Trillin

  People, Trying, Spices

  Calvin Trillin (1984). “Third Helpings”, Viking Press

  8 Copy quote

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