Funny Drug Quotes - Page 2

• Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

  Bill Hicks

  Funny, Weed, Humor

  36 Copy quote

• Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Guy, Drug

  "Brain Droppings".

  72 Copy quote

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• I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

  Charlie Sheen

  Children, Winning, Blood

  "Top 25 Charlie Sheen quotes from his first week of explaining how awesome Charlie Sheen is" by Tony Pierce, Los Angeles Times, March 01, 2011.

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• I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

  W. C. Fields

  Inspirational, Funny, Book

  In Corey Ford Time of Laughter (1970) p. 182

  13 Copy quote

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• I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.

  William J. Clinton

  Inspirational, Funny, Marijuana

  22 Copy quote

• Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

  Bob Marley

  Weed, Hippie, Drinking

  106 Copy quote

• Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.

  Ron Funches

  Confidence, Children, Parenting

  71 Copy quote

• The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.

  Bill Lee

  Weed, Humor, Marijuana

  12 Copy quote

• Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

  Abbie Hoffman

  Funny, Dope, Political

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself

  Jimmy Carter

  Weed, Marijuana, Drug Use

  Jimmy Carter (2010). “White House Diary”, p.74, Macmillan

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• I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Weed, Marijuana

  23 Copy quote

• Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you've been to some of those places, you think, 'How can I get back there again but make it a little easier on myself?'

  Jerry Garcia

  Thinking, Drug, Getting High

  17 Copy quote

• I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

  Adrian Rogers

  Sorry, Drinking, Beer

  Adrian Rogers, Steve Rogers (2012). “What Every Christian Ought to Know”, p.25, B&H Publishing Group

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• I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

  Tug McGraw

  Sports, Alcohol, Drug

  7 Copy quote

• Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Weed, Marijuana

  11 Copy quote

• All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.

  Thomas Szasz

  Humor, Intelligent, America

  18 Copy quote

• I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills.

  Malcolm Muggeridge

  Kings, Humble, Humor

  The New Statesman 'London Diary' 3 August (1962)

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• I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Mean, Drug

  Woody Allen, Marshall Brickman (2000). “Annie Hall: scénario bilingue”

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• The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.

  Denis Leary

  Funny, Humor, Blow

  9 Copy quote

• Marijuana is a useful catalyst for specific optical and aural aesthetic perceptions. I apprehended the structure of certain pieces of jazz and classical music in a new manner under the influence of marijuana, and these apprehensions have remained valid in years of normal consciousness.

  Allen Ginsberg

  Weed, Marijuana, Years

  18 Copy quote

• Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Children

  Twitter post from Apr 09, 2014

  11 Copy quote

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