Funny Coffee Quotes

• To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.

  Hugh Jackman

  Coffee, Smell, Invention

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  Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?

  Albert Camus

  Suicide, Coffee, Optimistic

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• It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.

  Dave Barry

  Coffee, Views, Espresso

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.126, Ballantine Books

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• Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.

  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  Coffee, Communication, Memorable

  "Gift from the Sea". Book by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, 1955.

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  Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep.

  Fran Drescher

  Coffee, Sleep, Smell

  Fran Drescher (2002). “Cancer Schmancer”

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• I need a coffee to go with my coffee.

  Zooey Deschanel

  Coffee, Espresso, Needs

  Twitter post from Jan 04, 2012

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• Given enough coffee I could rule the world

  Terry Pratchett

  Coffee, World, Enough

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• If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Coffee, Food, Book

  Abraham Lincoln (1992). “The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln”, Plume

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• I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

  T. S. Eliot

  Life, Success, Coffee

  "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" l. 51 (1917)

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  I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Food, Coffee

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• No coffee can be good in the mouth that does not first send a sweet offering of odor to the nostrils.

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Sweet, Coffee, Offering

  Henry Ward Beecher (1862). “Eyes and Ears”, p.60

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• Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

  Alphonse Allais

  Coffee, Sleep, Espresso

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• Coffee makes us severe, and grave and philosophical.

  Jonathan Swift

  Coffee, Philosophical, Espresso

  Jonathan Swift, Thomas Roscoe (1843). “The Works of Jonathan Swift ...: Containing Interesting and Valuable Papers, Not Hitherto Published ... With Memoir of the Author”, p.55

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• A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

  Paul Erdos

  Witty, Humorous, Coffee

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• Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.

  Alexander Pope

  Wise, Coffee, Eye

  Alexander Pope (1807). “The poetical works of Alexander Pope. With his last corrections, additions, and improvements. From the text of dr. Warburton. With the life of the author [by T. Cibber].”, p.92

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• Wake up and smell the coffee.

  Ann Landers

  Coffee, Espresso, Smell

  Chicago Tribune, 21 Dec. 1955.

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• Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

  Jean Kerr

  Coffee, Hands, Espresso

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• I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Coffee, Espresso

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• The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Morning, Cheer, Coffee

  1891 Over the Teacups, ch.1.

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• I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.

  Napoleon Bonaparte

  Coffee, Suffering, Roasting

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• A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home ground, home made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfect!

  Henry Ward Beecher

  Real, Coffee, Eye

  Henry Ward Beecher (1862). “Eyes and ears”, p.52

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• Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

  Terry Pratchett

  Coffee, Self, Rights

  "Happy International Coffee day - 10 great coffee quotes from literature" by Marta Bausells, www.theguardian.com. September 29, 2015.

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• I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume.

  John William Van Druten

  Food, Coffee, Thinking

  Quoted in Think, Feb 1963.

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• Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

  David Letterman

  Coffee, Espresso, Personality

  "Letterman Lets His Guard Down" by Bill Zehme, Esquire, December 1994.

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• Coffee, according to the women of Denmark, is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul.

  Isak Dinesen

  Coffee, Soul, Body

  Isak Dinesen (2011). “Seven Gothic Tales”, p.245, Vintage

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