Funny Christmas Card Quotes - Page 3

• Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Tolerance

  29 Copy quote

• What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

  Arlo Guthrie

  Funny Christmas, Humorous, Smoking

  7 Copy quote

• I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

  Charles Dickens

  Love, Christmas, Education

  A Christmas Carol stave 4 (1843)

  100 Copy quote

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• A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

  Garrison Keillor

  Love, Funny, Christmas

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

  Richard Lamm

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

  87 Copy quote

• At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year.

  Thomas Tusser

  Christmas, Xmas, Cheer

  Five Hundred Pointes of Good Husbandrie (1580)

  71 Copy quote

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• Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

  Dave Barry

  Christmas, Religious, Holiday

  15 Copy quote

• Christmas... is not an external event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart.

  Freya Stark

  Christmas, Home, Heart

  Freya Stark (2014). “The Zodiac Arch”, p.61, I.B.Tauris

  39 Copy quote

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• That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Funny, Christmas, People

  12 Copy quote

• Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

  Bill Watterson

  Christmas, Xmas, Beer

  "Calvin and Hobbes". Comic strip by Bill Watterson, November 18, 1985 – December 31, 1995.

  9 Copy quote

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• The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Christmas, Wise

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  104 Copy quote

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• Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

  Norman Vincent Peale

  Love, Positive, Christmas

  32 Copy quote

• Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.

  Dave Barry

  Christmas, Holiday, Years

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.79, Ballantine Books

  7 Copy quote

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• Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.

  Helen Steiner Rice

  Christmas, Xmas, Mind

  77 Copy quote