Funny Atheist Quotes - Page 2

• It's an incredible con job when you think about it, to believe something now in exchange for something after death. Even corporations with their reward systems don't try to make it posthumous.

  Gloria Steinem

  Atheist, Jobs, Believe

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• The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

  Richard Francis Burton

  Death, Religious, Atheist

  "The Book of The Thousand Nights And A Night". Book by John Payne, Terminal Essay: Social Conditions, fn. 13., 1885.

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• I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.

  Frank Lloyd Wright

  God, Atheist, Nature

  Quote magazine, August 14, 1966.

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• The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Life, Atheist

  "Letters from the Earth" (1940)

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• Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities.

  Voltaire

  Death, Atheist, Believe

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• If there were no God, there would be no atheists.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  God, Atheist, Christian Inspirational

  "Where All Roads Lead" by Gilbert K. Chesterton, 1922.

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• Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.

  Thomas Jefferson

  Religious, Atheist, Fear

  Thomas Jefferson, Jerry Holmes (2002). “Thomas Jefferson: A Chronology of His Thoughts”, p.90, Rowman & Littlefield

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• I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

  Richard Dawkins

  Death, Atheist, Learning

  "The Two Types of Faith" by Greg Cootsona, www.huffingtonpost.com. February 17, 2016.

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• Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Funny, Death, God

  "Twilight of the Idols, or, How to Philosophize with a Hammer". Book by Friedrich Nietzsche, Maxims and Arrows, 7, 1888.

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• The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank.

  Dante Gabriel Rossetti

  Thankful, Atheist, Worst Moments

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• It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

  Mark Twain

  Death, Religious, Atheist

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.31, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

  George Carlin

  Religious, Atheist, Ideas

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Sweet, Atheist, Crazy

  Kurt Vonnegut (2009). “Mother Night: A Novel”, p.160, Dial Press

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• Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

  Albert Einstein

  God, Religious, Atheist

  Albert Einstein (2010). “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, p.328, Princeton University Press

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• The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Life, Religious, Atheist

  George Bernard Shaw (1993). “The Complete Prefaces: 1914-1929”, Viking Adult

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• The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Inspirational, Life, Atheist

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson (Illustrated)”, p.2728, Delphi Classics

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• When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?'

  Quentin Crisp

  Peace, Atheist, Believe

  "The Wit and Wisdom of Quentin Crisp". Book by Quentin Crisp, 1984.

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• If people are good because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

  Albert Einstein

  Im Sorry, Atheist, Fear

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• If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

  Woody Allen

  Witty, Atheist, Philosophy

  Love and Death (1975 film)

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• A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.

  Mark Twain

  Religious, Atheist, Believe

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.55, St. Martin's Press

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• To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

  Woody Allen

  Loyalty, Atheist, Religion

  "Fictional character: Sandy Bates". "Stardust Memories", www.imdb.com. 1980.

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• A person isn't considered insane if there are a number of people who believe the same way. Insanity isn't supposed to be a communicable disease. If one other person starts to believe him, or maybe two or three, then it's a religion.

  Robert M. Pirsig

  God, Atheist, People

  "Lila: An Inquiry Into Morals". Book by Robert Pirsig, 1991.

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• We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.

  Richard Dawkins

  Religious, Atheist, If There Is A God

  "The Root of All Evil?". Documentary, January 2006.

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• If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.

  Isaac Asimov

  Spiritual, Atheist, Fear

  Isaac Asimov (2009). “I, Asimov: A Memoir”, p.481, Bantam

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• If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favor.

  Voltaire

  Atheist, Atheism, Favors

  Voltaire's Notebooks (c.1735-c.1750),

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