Funniest Sports Quotes - Page 3

• The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

  Carl Everett

  Sports, Dumb, Say Anything

  "10 Ratchet MLB Player Retirements That Kenny Powers Should Put to Shame" by Jose Martinez, www.complex.com. September 29, 2013.

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• Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.

  Shelby Metcalf

  Funny, Basketball, Sports

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• Yeah, I'm cocky and I am arrogant. But that doesn't mean I'm not a nice person.

  Jeremy Roenick

  Nice, Cocky, Mean

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• Because there are no fours.

  Antoine Walker

  Basketball, Fours

  "Jason Collins jerseys, four-pointers and other NBA conspiracies" by Hunter Felt, www.theguardian.com. February 26, 2014.

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• I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

  Robin Williams

  Sports, Lacrosse, Church

  1982 Interview in Playboy.

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• I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.

  Andre Dawson

  Funny, Kids, Dumb

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• My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.

  Chuck Nevitt

  Funny, Sports, Baby

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• Well, Rickey's not one of them, so that's 49 percent right there.

  Rickey Henderson

  Sports, Dumb, Wells

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• I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.

  Johnny Bench

  Sports, Thinking, Comeback

  "The Most Utterly Comprehensive List Of Exemplary Poeticisms — Be they great, inadvertent, or unsound — As Uttered by our most Esteemed Exemplars And Guardians of Popular Culture". Article by John Reed, logger.believermag.com. November 26, 2014.

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• Statistics are like bikinis-they show a lot but not everything.

  Lou Piniella

  Sports, Statistics, Bikinis

  26 Copy quote

• I've never seen anyone go on the DL with pulled fat.

  Rod Beck

  Sports, Goes On, Fats

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• Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.

  Bum Phillips

  Sports, Goodbye, Kissing

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• I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.

  Pete Rose

  Sports, Baseball, Men

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• We talkin' about practice?

  Allen Iverson

  Sports, Practice

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• What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.

  Mike Ditka

  Sports, Nfl Players, Differences

  24 Copy quote

• They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

  Oscar Gamble

  Inspirational, Sports, Baseball

  87 Copy quote

• I went through baseball as a player to be named later.

  Joe Garagiola

  Sports, Baseball, Player

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• I can play in the center, on the right and occasionally on the left side.

  David Beckham

  Funny, Sports, Play

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• I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Sports, Intelligent, Speak

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• Fade into Bolivian, I guess.

  Mike Tyson

  Sports, Fades

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• Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.

  Tom Landry

  Inspirational, Sports, Football

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• This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.

  Ted Walsh

  Sports, Mother, Horse

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• They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Motivational, Basketball

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• The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

  Dave Barry

  Sports, Football, Winter

  26 Copy quote

• I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sports, Fighting, Hockey

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