Dirty Quotes - Page 39

• If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

  Demetri Martin

  Thinking, Years, Laughing

  Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

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• I'm not a grown up until everybody realises I'm a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

  Bo Burnham

  Song, Kids, Singing

  Source: thelatest.co.uk

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• I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than the rest of the country. It's almost like they dress the same as they did 20 years ago. The same old guys are sitting outside the same dirty, dingy secret offices in the Capitol that you're not allowed to go in.

  Dave Barry

  Country, Years, Office

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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• I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

  Gabriel Iglesias

  Tvs, Way, Firsts

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• When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.

  Larry the Cable Guy

  Wall, Sticks, Comedy

  Source: smashinginterviews.com

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• When you're in @#*!#-ing hell, your forehead can feel a wee bit feverish. (By the way, that's the way my wife actually curses. She doesn't use dirty words; she'll literally say "asterisk, pound sign, exclamation point, the-letter-'A'-with-a-circle-around-it, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk.")

  Paul Reiser

  Funny, Exclamation Points, Circles

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• I went to sexaholics anonymous for six months. For research. I wanted to see the structure of the groups, how they were conducted, and what the atmosphere was like, and also to be able to describe the people as human beings, rather than as the dirty jokes that they are in our culture.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  People, Atmosphere, Groups

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• The tagline behind "House of Lies" is funny, dirty, business. The show is a comedy satire about how big business operates. Most Americans that work in corporate America should be able to relate to this show.

  Larenz Tate

  Lying, America, House

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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• The only parts I like out of any of those women books is the dirty parts. But I don't think their dirty parts are any good, really.

  Patti Smith

  Book, Thinking

  Source: www.oceanstar.com

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• It's people wanting to do something about global climate change. People fed up with the high price of gas. People tired of breathing dirty air. In Houston, Los Angeles, Bakersfield, and other cities. It's going to be a critical mass of people experiencing something.

  Ed Begley, Jr.

  Tired, Air, Breathing

  "Power Q&A: Ed Begley Jr". Interview with Jennifer Vogel, www.motherjones.com. April 21, 2008.

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• You can't help but feel the energy of the audience - and if you feel they hate you that feels weird and dirty. But I would never want to take it too seriously. It's understandable that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I think that's helped me survive.

  Charlyne Yi

  Hate, Thinking, Tea

  Interview with Sheila Heti, staging.believermag.com. March/April 2010.

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• All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

  Bo Burnham

  Funny, Humor, Catholic

  Song: Klan Kookout, Album: Bo Burnham

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• The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Sexy, Humor

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• Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Sandwiches

  "Jim Gaffigan: King Baby". www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• I call the art of theatre a "dirty art", since there are so many people involved who have needs and whims to be satisfied.

  Jennifer Tipton

  Art, People, Theatre

  Source: theatrenow.wordpress.com

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• Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.

  Brian Regan

  Thinking, Rocks, Trying

  Source: www.vulture.com

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• My mom will never march in a gay pride parade with a big sign. She is very private. She lives in Chattanooga. She tries so hard to understand me and my life. But she said to me once, "Leslie, if I live to be 105 I'll never understand this need you have to air your dirty laundry. Why can't you just whisper it to a therapist?!" She doesn't understand.

  Leslie Jordan

  Mom, Gay, Pride

  "July 16, 2008". Today Interview, www.today.com. July 16, 2008.

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• When I started Fool's Gold and producing consistent records that were like electro beats with rapping on it that was experimental and weird. I made a mixtape called Dirty South Dance where I put rap vocals over dance music. That was literally an experiment. Now all these rappers are rapping on dance music. This is something I've been trying to build for a while.

  A-Trak

  Rap, Trying, Gold

  Source: www.gq.com

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• "Pop" was a dirty word for a really long time and it feels like that's not the case anymore.

  Lizzy Plapinger

  Long, Cases, Pops

  Source: www.elle.com

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• And in the process, we have come up with fuels - algae-based fuels, isobutanol-based fuels and other fuels - that we think will power the planes in the future so that, you know, by 2020 I hope that our planes will be powered on fuels that are clean fuels and are not polluting the environment so that we'll have a green airline and an airline that actually has fuels that will be hopefully cheaper than the dirty fuels of the past. So [we're] doing good and also turning a profit at the same time.

  Richard Branson

  Past, Thinking, Algae

  "Richard Branson: Time To Rethink 'Business As Usual'". "Talk of the Nation" with Neal Conan, www.npr.org. December 1, 2011.

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• Now the kids are portrayed as dirty when they talk to an agent, a shoe guy, some hanger-on. Well, it's only natural that people are circling them - there are millions of dollars involved.

  Sonny Vaccaro

  Kids, Shoes, People

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• Crouchers move through a garden at a stoop: naming, gasping, horraying, admiring or coveting plants; Gapers saunter, smiling or sighing at what they find, succumbing to an intangible beatitude that takes them for a brief escape into another dimension. Both sorts of gardener are besotted; both get their hands dirty; think and talk gardening; but on the threshold of another's garden, each use a different set of whiskers.

  Mirabel Osler

  Funny, Moving, Garden

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• A grub in filth is dirty, but it changes into a cicada and sips dew in the autumn breeze. Rotting plants have no luster, but they turn into foxfire and glow in the summer moonlight. So we know that purity emerges from impurity, and light is born from darkness.

  Zicheng Hong

  Summer, Autumn, Light

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• A dirty word in the film business right now is intelligence.

  David Caruso

  Film, Dirty Words, Right Now

  Source: movieweb.com

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• I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Conan, Appearance

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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