Birthday Humor Quotes

• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  625 Copy quote

• A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  141 Copy quote

• Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

  Chili Davis

  Love, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  109 Copy quote

• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny Happy Birthday, Waiting In Line, Getting Older

  53 Copy quote

• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

  John Glenn

  Happy Birthday, Friends, Funny Birthday

  "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

  90 Copy quote

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• You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

  Germaine Greer

  Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness

  281 Copy quote
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  The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

  Lucille Ball

  Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Birthday

  181 Copy quote

• Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

  Dorothy Parker

  Birthday, Age, May

  172 Copy quote
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  The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up

  "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young" (1894)

  91 Copy quote

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• You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Humorous

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Birthday, Time

  13 Copy quote

• As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

  Norman Wisdom

  Funny, Birthday, Memories

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  1560 Copy quote

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• I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

  Eva Gabor

  Birthday, Loyalty, Believe

  17 Copy quote

• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Birthday, Time

  119 Copy quote

• You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.

  Francis Spellman

  Funny, Birthday, Meaningful

  8 Copy quote

• Age is not measured by years. Nature does not equally distribute energy. Some people are born old and tired while others are going strong at seventy.

  Dorothy Thompson

  Birthday, Strong, Tired

  Dorothy Thompson (1957). “The Courage to be Happy”

  21 Copy quote

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• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  34 Copy quote

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• It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

  Ellen Glasgow

  Birthday, Lovely, Forget The Past

  Ellen Anderson Gholson Glasgow (1958). “Letters of Ellen Glasgow”

  22 Copy quote

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• Pleas'd look forward, pleas'd to look behind,And count each birthday with a grateful mind.

  Alexander Pope

  Birthday, Grateful, Mind

  Alexander Pope (1787). “The Poetical Works of Alexander Pope with His Last Corrections, Additions and Improvements,3: From the Text of Dr. Warburton with Life of the Author”, p.154

  14 Copy quote

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  Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Family

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  71 Copy quote

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• The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

  Robert Orben

  Birthday, Funny Birthday, Funny Happy Birthday

  19 Copy quote

• Time and tide wait for no man.

  Geoffrey Chaucer

  Inspirational, Birthday, Time

  85 Copy quote

• They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

  Malcolm Cowley

  Birthday, Missing You, Mind

  Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982

  16 Copy quote

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• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Jack Benny

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

  New York Times, 1974.

  56 Copy quote

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• Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

  Jean Paul

  Happy Birthday, Funny Birthday, Time

  11 Copy quote