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  • I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.

    "Anthony Jeselnik on Sharon Stone, thankless open mics, and his evil plan". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. October 16, 2015.
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