W. Somerset Maugham Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  The Mixture as Before "The Treasure" (1940)

• Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Inspirational, Funny, Death

  "What Happens When the Average Lifespan Hits 100?" by Megan Erickson, bigthink.com.

• I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Life, Happiness

• The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Inspirational, Funny, Science

• I would sooner read a timetable or a catalog than nothing at all.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Book, Reading

• A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Marriage, Witty

  W. Somerset Maugham (2017). “Plays Volume One”, p.195, Random House

• The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Book, Reading

• I promised myself that if ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Humorous, Ambition

• I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, People, Literature

• The mathematician who after seeing Phedre asked: 'Qu'est que ca prouve?' was not such a fool as he has been generally made out. No one has ever been able to explain why the Doric temple of Paestum is more beautiful than a glass of cold beer except by bringing in considerations that have nothing to do with beauty.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Beauty, Beautiful

• When she liked anyone it was quite natural for her to go to bed with him. She never thought twice about it. It was not vice; it wasn't lasciviousness; it was her nature. She gave herself as naturally as the sun gives heat or the flowers their perfume. It was a pleasure to her and she liked to give pleasure to others.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Sex, Humorous

  W. Somerset Maugham (1930). “Cakes and Ale”

• The Americans, who are the most efficient people on the earth, have carried [phrase-making] to such a height of perfection and have invented so wide a range of pithy and hackneyed phrases that they can carry on an amusing and animated conversation without giving a moment’s reflection to what they are saying and so leave their minds free to consider the more important matters of big business and fornication.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Reflection, People

• Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Time, Elderly

  W. Somerset Maugham (1954). “Mr. Maugham Himself”

• Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother.

  W. Somerset Maugham

  Funny, Mother, Boys

  Writer's Notebook (1949) p. 27 (written in 1896)

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