It is the most powerful creation to have life growing inside of you. There is no bigger gift.
I felt very maternal around eight months. And I thought I couldn't become any more until I saw the baby... But it happened during my labor because I had a very strong connection with my child. I felt like when I was having contractions, I envisioned my child pushing through a very heavy door. And I imagined this tiny infant doing all the work, so I couldn't think about my own pain... We were talking. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt a communication.
When I was younger, there were moments where I said, 'I'm not going to have children.' And then moments when I wanted four. And now I definitely want another, but I don't know when.
I have so much admiration for women who are mothers, who balance family and work. I see them and I have this word in my head - respect. I also look to learn. I see these women and I think, 'Yes, it can be balanced, it can all work out.'
I felt like God was giving me a chance to assist in a miracle. There is something so relieving about life taking over you like that. You're playing a part in a much bigger show. And that's what life is. It's the greatest show on earth.
Right now, after giving birth, I really understand the power of my body. I just feel my body means something completely different.
At some point it's very important to me that my daughter is able to experience life and run through the sprinklers and have slumber parties and trust and live and do all the things that any child should be able to do.
I am very protective. I just want to make sure that she can have a healthy, safe, normal life...in the back of my mind, she's my priority. And life is completely different now. I feel really, really just lucky that I can still do what I love, and now have a way bigger meaning. And that's to be her mother.
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