I'm never home. I miss birthdays. I miss holidays. I miss anniversaries. I miss special moments. I'm not always there for important times, because I'm out on the road trying to make people laugh. I give up my privacy. I give up the ability to walk somewhere and relax.
I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I'm never home.
That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.
People understand when I talk about my son not listening, or issues at home or his real dad coming back into the picture, or even stories about family members not seeing eye to eye with what you're doing.
Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part.
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