Teresa Bloomingdale Quotes

• A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Beautiful, Baby, Grandma

  20 Copy quote

• Of course the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Why do you think the neighbors put up the fence?

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Thinking, Grass Is Greener On The Other Side, Sides

  16 Copy quote

• My husband and I speak an ancient language called grammatical English, and the kids speak a strange dialect which is difficult to decode because it is based on only four phrases: 'Huh,' 'I dunno,' 'It's not my turn,' and 'I do everything around here!

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Children, Husband, Kids

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1982). “Murphy must have been a mother!: (and other laws I live by)”, Doubleday Books

  10 Copy quote

• If you have older children who avoid you like the plague, buy yourself some expensive bath salts, run a hot tub, and settle in for a long soak. Teenagers who haven't talked to you since their tenth birthday will bang on the door, demanding your immediate attention.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Running, Children, Teenager

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1982). “Murphy must have been a mother!: (and other laws I live by)”, Doubleday Books

  6 Copy quote

• No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Fun, Matter, Horoscopes

  4 Copy quote

• A surefire method of setting up regular communication with your kids is to get a job in an office which discourages personal phone calls. Your kids will then call you every hour on the hour.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Jobs, Children, Communication

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1983). “Murphy must have been a mother!: (and other laws I live by)”, Macmillan Reference USA

  4 Copy quote

• to balance my own checkbook each month, I simply record whatever is necessary in the following manner: '37 cents to cover embezzlement by somebody at the bank.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Balance, Each Month, Records

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1983). “Up a Family Tree”, Bantam Books

  4 Copy quote

• Take it from me: no matter how few or how many children you have, or how little or how much money you make, your expenses are going to exceed your income by approximately a hundred dollars a month.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Family, Children, Dollars

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1982). “Up a Family Tree”, G K Hall & Company

  4 Copy quote

• Never drink more than one cocktail before giving a talk. True, the drinks may relax you, but they may also slur your speech and blur your memory, making you wonder who are all those people out there and why are they staring at you?

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Memories, People, Giving

  Teresa Bloomingdale (1983). “Murphy must have been a mother!: (and other laws I live by)”, Macmillan Reference USA

  4 Copy quote

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