Horoscopes Quotes

• I believe in horoscopes. I was born under the sign of the Ram, which means I'm headstrong, don't like people telling me what to do.

  Loretta Lynn

  Believe, Mean, People

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• There is no better boat than a horoscope to help a man cross over the sea of life.

  Varahamihira

  Life, Men, Sea

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• Faithful horoscope-watching, practiced daily, provides just the sort of small but warm and infinitely reassuring fillip that gets matters off to a spirited start.

  Shana Alexander

  Faith, Astrology, Matter

  Shana Alexander (1970). “The feminine eye”, McCall Pub. Co

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• A child is born on that day and at that hour when the celestial rays are in mathematical harmony with his individual karma.

  Sri Yukteswar Giri

  Karma, Children, Astrology

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• Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."

  Scott Adams

  Time, Tea Leaves, Tarot

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• You are always born under the wrong sign, and to live in this world properly you have to rewrite your own horoscope day by day.

  Umberto Eco

  World, This World, Born

  Umberto Eco (2007). “Foucault's Pendulum”, p.60, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• No matter what sign you were born under, everybody else's horoscope will be more fun than yours.

  Teresa Bloomingdale

  Fun, Matter, Born

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• Clutching our crystals and religiously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in steep decline, unable to distinguish between what's true and what feels good, we slide, almost without noticing, into superstition and darkness.

  Carl Sagan

  Feel Good, Darkness, Superstitions

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• I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time - [...] when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness.

  Carl Sagan

  Children, Hands, America

  "A Disturbing 1995 Prediction by Carl Sagan Accurately Describes America of Today" by PAUL RATNER, bigthink.com.

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• A child is born on that day, and at that hour when the celestial rays are in mathematical harmony with his individual Karma. His horoscope is a challenging portrait, revealing his unalterable past and its probable future result. But the natal chart can be rightly interpreted only by men of intuitive wisdom - These are few.

  Sri Yukteswar Giri

  Karma, Children, Men

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• HOROSCOPE: Today is a good time for making new friends. A good deed may have unforeseen consequences. Don’t upset any druids. You will soon be going on a very strange journey. Your lucky food is small cucumbers. People pointing knives at you are probably up to no good. PS, we really mean it about the druids.

  Terry Pratchett

  Mean, Journey, Knives

  Stephen Briggs, Terry Pratchett (2015). “All the Discworld's a Stage”, p.111, Oberon Books

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• It's surely no accident that there are horoscopes in Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, Woman, New Woman, Elle and Cosmo ... but not Sports Illustrated, GQ, Esquire, Field & Stream or Guns & Ammo.

  Merrill Markoe

  Sports, Gun, Fields

  Merrill Markoe (1992). “What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned”, Viking Press

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• I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said. -- Twelve Sharp

  Janet Evanovich

  Yesterday, Twelve, Dresses

  Janet Evanovich (2007). “Twelve Sharp”, p.10, St. Martin's Press

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• I don't play the lottery. I don't care what my horoscope says. I think most things about the world could be improved if people thought more about what they're doing. When someone gets upset with their computer, I tend to side with the computer. I think art is overrated, and bridges are underrated. In fact, I don't understand why bridges aren't art. It seems to me they're penalized for having a use. If I make a bridge that ends in midair, that's a sculpture. But put it between two landmasses and let it ferry two hundred thousand cars per day and it's infrastructure. That makes no sense.

  Max Barry

  Art, Thinking, Bridges

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• For most of us, when our 'dreams' - I use the word with reservations - came true, and marriage and motherhood became a reality, the romcoms, like horoscopes, swiftly lost their allure.

  Mariella Frostrup

  Dream, Motherhood, Reality

  "Why we're still seduced by the romcom" by Mariella Frostrup, www.theguardian.com. September 17, 2011.

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• Horoscopes, like bad sitcoms, are created for people that I don't relate to.

  Dov Davidoff

  People, Sitcom, Relate

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• The only chains God wants us to wear are the chains of righteousness--not the chains of hopeless subjectivism, not the shackles of risk-free living, not the fetters of horoscope decision making--just the chains befitting a bond servant of Christ Jesus. Die to self. Live for Christ. And then do what you want, and go where you want, for God's glory.

  Kevin DeYoung

  Jesus, Self, Decision

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• I remember once, I read in a horoscope, because I'm an Aries, I read this terrible thing, which really affected me, which said, "You will never be original. You will always be an interpreter." (Laughs) I thought, "Oh my God." You know, I had to live with that on my back for [all my life].

  Andy Serkis

  Laughing, Aries, Remember

  Source: collider.com

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• For Christmas every year, my mother used to give me those cheap little diaries that would tell your horoscope and provide a little blank slot for each day.

  Patti Smith

  Mother, Years, Giving

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• It is a sin to follow your horoscope because only God knows the future and He won't tell us. Also, we can tell horoscopes are false because according to astrology, Christ would have been a Capricorn, and Capricorn people are cold, ambitious and attracted to Scorpio and Virgo, and we know that Christ was warm, loving, and not attracted to anybody.

  Christopher Durang

  Scorpios, Astrology, People

  Christopher Durang (1981). “Sister Mary Ignatius explains it all for you ; The actor's nightmare: two one-act plays”

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• The total number of people who understand relativistic time, even after eighty years since the advent of special relativity, is still much smaller than the number of people who believe in horoscopes.

  Yuval Ne'eman

  Believe, Science, Years

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• FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a horoscope, there's a gypsy tearoom over on Lexington Avenue.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Humor, Feel Better

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• The fact that the stars predict high or low rank for the father of the person whose horoscope is taken, teaches that they do not always make things happen but sometimes only indicate things. For how could things which preceded the birth depend upon the birth?

  Sallust

  Stars, Father, Taken

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• Astrologys a moving system that depends on where youre looking at it from on Earth. My horoscope here in London would be completely different to down in New Zealand.

  Eleanor Catton

  Moving, Different, Would Be

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• It’s the way he had a cup of tea waiting for me when I woke up. It’s the way he turned on his laptop especially for me to look up all my Internet horoscopes and helped me choose the best one. He knows all the crappy, embarrassing bits about me that I normally try to hide from any man for as long as possible… and he loves me anyway.

  Sophie Kinsella

  Men, Long, Waiting

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