Allen Carr Quotes

• The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.

  Allen Carr

  Shoes, Smoking, Pleasure

  4 Copy quote

• Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’d love a cigarette.’ That’s what smokers who use the Willpower Method do. No wonder they feel so miserable. They spend the rest of their lives desperately moping for something that they desperately hope they will never have.

  Allen Carr

  Stupid, Want, Rest Of Your Life

  6 Copy quote

• A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vibe, or the promoter promoted a weird atmosphere.

  Allen Carr

  Atmosphere, Comedian, Crowds

  8 Copy quote

• Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm.

  Allen Carr

  Men, Order, Bricks

  Allen Carr (2009). “Easy Way to Control Alcohol”, p.80, Arcturus Publishing

  5 Copy quote

• You should never meet your heroes. Paul Newman... I was so excited about meeting him, but he turned up in shell suit bottoms, slippers, and a jumper. He was just so worn out and old, he wanted to go home.

  Allen Carr

  Hero, Home, Suits

  26 Copy quote

• I'm just generally hugely frustrated, I'm a very, very frustrated man. I'm just a ball of pent-up frustration.

  Allen Carr

  Frustration, Men, Frustrated

  8 Copy quote

• If you go on stage with the wrong attitude, or something in your performance is off, you can lose an audience in the first minute. That first minute is crucial.

  Allen Carr

  Attitude, Goes On, Firsts

  8 Copy quote

• I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.

  Allen Carr

  Fall, People, Laughing

  4 Copy quote

• I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.

  Allen Carr

  People, Mets, Nicole

  7 Copy quote

• I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so I gave it a whirl.

  Allen Carr

  Art, College, Would Be

  16 Copy quote

• I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.

  Allen Carr

  Believe, Lazy, Get Up

  4 Copy quote

• I think over there in Montreal they're a bit hardcore with the old homos. They're not that keen on them.

  Allen Carr

  Thinking, Hardcore, Montreal

  83 Copy quote

• I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.

  Allen Carr

  Hate, Say Anything, Wells

  4 Copy quote

• I didn't really want to be a comedian.

  Allen Carr

  Comedian, Want

  8 Copy quote

• I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.

  Allen Carr

  Hate, Thinking, Rubbish

  16 Copy quote

• I still get excited about meeting celebrities, because I don't think I'm a celebrity myself.

  Allen Carr

  Thinking, Excited, Meetings

  8 Copy quote

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