Tina Fey Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Workout, Sex

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.37, Hachette UK

• If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Men

  "And funny with it" by Christopher Goodwin, www.theguardian.com. May 11, 2008.

• I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Fey

• In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant Irish people.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Sorry, Party

• Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.25, Hachette UK

• I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Parent, Looks

  "Tina Fey: Sarah Palin And 'Saturday Night' Satire". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. November 3, 2008..

• An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

• I had to get back to work... NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Mom, Baby

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Researches reported that they developed a self-healing plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Change, Healing

• At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Friday, Sex

  "Saturday Night Live (TV Series) Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keys". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, "People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea."

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Hate, Humor

• In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, School, Humor

• A recent study announced that 52 per cent of all teens who sign virginity pledges recant them within twelve months. If I'm on my game.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Games

• Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children's medications are selling on Home Shopping Network.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Children, Home

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.5, Hachette UK

• The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two-year suspension for a lawyer found having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. HaHa! Jokes on you dummies... I'm not really a lawyer!

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update" with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, snltranscripts.jt.org. April 9, 2005.

• Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Long

• It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, 'if this is what it takes to win, it's not worth it.'

  Tina Fey

  Funny, New York, Home

• "I can't believe you recently had a baby. How do you do it?" The baby starts to come down...and once that happens you can't-it comes out. Whether you let it or not, the baby comes out. So that's how I did it.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Baby, Believe

• It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Play

  "Saturday Night Live (TV Series) Robert De Niro/Destiny's Child". www.imdb.com. 2004.

• If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us?

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Sex, Tired

• This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Years

  "Saturday Night Live Weekend Update" with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, snltranscripts.jt.org. November 20, 2004.

• At the upcoming Grammy Awards, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will perform together as the first time, as man and wife. Hopefully music.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Humor, Men

• Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: "No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat."

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Husband, Cancer

• Wafah Dufour bin Laden, niece of Osama bin Laden has signed a contract to star in a reality show... called Skating with the Nieces of Terrorists.

  Tina Fey

  Funny, Stars, Niece

• I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

  Tina Fey

  Inspirational, Funny, Struggle

  Interview with Eric Spitznagel, www.believermag.com. November 2003.

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