Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
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