Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.
Of all sports, football seems to be the most sanctioned homosocial opportunity for straight men to be with each other, pat butts, struggle, strive, and take showers together. All that talk of tight ends and penetration. The reason there are face masks on those helmets is so that can't kiss each other.
Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.
Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.
A friend told me that each morning when we get up we have to decide whether we are going to save or savor the world. I don't think that is the decision. It's not an either-or, save or savor. We have to do both, save and savor the world.
Gays have always been in the military. Alexander the Great was originally Alexander the Fabulous. A gay man invented C-rations. He claims he could never talk anyone into the cilantro garnish. Obviously, gays were not allowed to design the outfits, because we never would have stayed with the earth tones for so long.
[On being lesbian:] One pointer: don't come out to your dad in a moving vehicle.
Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'
Laughter takes the tyranny of the lies we are told and told and told and it blows them apart.
Teaching is performance art.
I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.
The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.
John Paulk, the poster boy for 'ex-gays' was found in a gay bar in Washington. He said he was there to use the bathroom. But nobody thought to ask him for what.
As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket.
I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir.
When women go off together we call it separatism. When men go off together we call it Congress.
In this political climate, people are so shut down to other ideas - I call it a hardening of the categories - that if you can get them to open up and laugh, there is a possibility of improvement, and a possibility of change. I think humor sneaks up on people, and before you know it, you're laughing at something you might not agree with.
[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.
Gay is when two girls get together, dance and have fun.
I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ.
My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.
So few people voted in the elections [of 1996] that the ones who did were called activists.
When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out.
A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.
I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.
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