Gilbert K. Chesterton Funny Quotes

• The traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Inspirational, Funny, Travel

• Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Respect, Humor

  The Man WhoWas Thursday ch. 4 (1908)

• We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Friendship, God

  Gilbert K. Chesterton (2013). “The Essential Gilbert K. Chesterton”, p.196, Simon and Schuster

• The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Food, Sarcasm

  "Alarms And Discursions". Book by Gilbert K. Chesterton, 1910.

• It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Math, Statistics

  Scandal of Father Brown (1935) "Point of a Pin"

• I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Life, Presence Of Mind

• I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Believe, Evil

• Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Business, Humor

  "The style guide editor on ... peer pressure and using people's proper names" by David Marsh, www.theguardian.com. December 8, 2013.

• The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Love, Funny, Life

  "The Illustrated London News" Magazine, July 16, 1910.

• To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Money, Clever

  Wisdom of Father Brown (1914) "Paradise of Thieves"

• An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Inspirational, Funny, Travel

  All Things Considered (1908) "On Running after one's Hat"

• The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Travel, Missing

• He said he didn't very well understand how George was going to sleep any more than he did now, seeing that there were only twenty-four hours in each day.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Time, Sleep

• No man knows he is young while he is young.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Witty, Time

• There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Real, Humorous

• I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Spiritual, Dog

• Some men never feel small, but these are the few men who are.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Men, Feels

• It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because it is a grave religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Religious, Fall

  "All Things Considered". Book by Gilbert K. Chesterton, 1908.

• Your next-door neighbor is not a man; he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Dog, Wall

• Our civilization has decided that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up its specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Funny, Humorous, Men

  Tremendous Trifles "The Twelve Men" (1909)

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