My Dad Quotes - Page 29

• My parents got divorced. Early and ugly. My mum was nuts so I lived with my dad. We used to play a father/son games. Pin the blame on me, rock, paper, get me another beer, casino night.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Father, Beer

  "The Reconciliation". "Titus" (TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000.

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• A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Praying Mantis, Black

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• I swore I would never get involved in my dad's life. But then he started blowing it. So I had to get involved, you know, but he's my dad, I can't send him to his room or ground him or go to his first grade play and scream, "Look at the fairy!" I was a wood nymph.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Play, Nymphs

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• To be successful in life, there are many hurdles you have to get over. For me, the biggest hurdle to success has always been failure. But, growing up, my Dad was always positive... that I'd never amount to anything.

  Christopher Titus

  Success, Growing Up, Dad

  "The Smell of Success". "Titus" (TV Series), m.imdb.com. 2001.

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• If you ask my dad for help... he'll help. Like a vulture helps an over-run armadillo on a Texas highway. One peck at the time.

  Christopher Titus

  Running, Dad, Texas

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your best friend, your lover. My dad always told me that when you find that person, "You gotta nail her"!

  Christopher Titus

  Soulmate, Dad, Believe

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• In a crisis, my family puts aside all its petty differences and hatreds... Because a crisis, is a perfect opportunity to create *new* petty differences and hatreds! My dad's from that era when you lived to 50, your heart exploded and that was that. You know when you cook bacon and you pour the grease into the can? My dad's the can!

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Heart, Opportunity

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour.

  Christopher Titus

  Mom, Dad, Beer

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Booty, Life Is

  "Titus" (TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Writing, Ties

  "Titus" (TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• A salamander can grow a new tail in three weeks. My dad can score new tail in three minutes.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Three, Tails

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.

  Christopher Titus

  Encouragement, Dad, Support

  "Titus", www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

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• Of course, here's the weird part. After I fought my dad, all of a sudden we're buddies now. Like he's my friend now, we start hanging out. But we're still the same people. So we'd go out on Sunday, you know, and just be hanging out, then he'd, like, pick a guy, and we'd just go beat the crap out of that guy as a team. Memories, huh?

  Christopher Titus

  Memories, Dad, Team

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". www.imdb.com. 2004.

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• My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer. Weddings, Funerals, Water Skiing, Parent-Teacher Conference. When I got sick around him as a kid growing up, he'd always warm me up a shot of 100 proof whiskey. Never got sick... that I can remember.

  Christopher Titus

  Teacher, Growing Up, Dad

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". Comedy, One-man Show, www.imdb.com. June 06, 2004.

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• My dad got divorced six times. Well, he actually only got divorced five times. He wouldn't divorce the sixth one 'cause he said he didn't want people to think he couldn't commit. 'I don't want people not taking me serious.' Dad, your last marriage was performed in Reno by an ordained lesbian Elvis impersonator. Who you hit on.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Divorce, Thinking

  "Christopher Titus: Love Is Evol". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• My mom shot and killed her last husband. Yeah, my dad used to say "Hey, dodged that bullet. Ha ha."

  Christopher Titus

  Mom, Husband, Dad

  "Christopher Titus: Love Is Evol". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• I had a real job at fourteen years old. At seventeen, I was on my own. At twenty, I cut the liver out of a drifter and gave it to my father! 'Cause my dad's a drinker and I love my dad. And for eighty bucks, you can do anything in Mexico!

  Christopher Titus

  Jobs, Dad, Father

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• To be able to have winning in your blood growing up, whether it was pounding my little brother or trying to beat my dad in something, or just competing on teams with my friends, it was nonstop.

  Jordan Spieth

  Brother, Growing Up, Dad

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If I just do everything the opposite of what my dad did, I think that will make things pretty easy. I can joke about it now because I'm past that stage where it used to hurt. By having a kid, it's gone. I could take all that negative energy that I had and put it in a positive way.

  Derrick Rose

  Hurt, Dad, Kids

  "Derrick Rose: From agony of injury to joy of fatherhood" by Jeff Zillgitt, www.usatoday.com. February 12, 2013.

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• My dad's been having a hard time lately. Keeps on losing his keys. Can't hang on to a set of keys to save his life. And he has tried everything too: little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed, keychain makes a noise when you whistle. Nothing worked. So finally, this year for his birthday, the whole family chipped in - and we put him in a home.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Dad, Home, Hard Times

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• Well, my dad was into music, but he wasn't into me being into music. In my house when I was a kid, when I was real young, my dad wanted us all to play sports, and we were jock-like. We had a lot of money. And my brother was sort of the light of our family, and he was a good athlete. And I wasn't a very good athlete, but I tried to be. And then when I was 15 my dad went bankrupt, and we moved to Houston. And I went with him, but then I went back to Portland.

  Todd Snider

  Sports, Brother, Dad

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• My dad used to open up photo albums and stuff and you'd have to tell a story about the picture but you couldn't tell the truth so you had to make up a story about whatever you were looking at. He really taught us how to lie.

  Sara Quin

  Dad, Lying, Taught Us

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• Yeah. When I was 14, my Dad had a radio show with really cool people from Ghent, our hometown, in it. The people who started the R&S techno label, they did a show, and a very well known Techno DJ called Frank de Wulf who was from around there, he did a show, and everybody could do what they wanted. They all started up there.

  Stephen Dewaele

  Dad, People, Labels

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• My hometown is 30,000 people. It's remote, but it's an oil town, so it's developed. There's definitely a mill mentality: not a lot of people leave. It's a lot of long hours, shift work. Even my Dad, who's a dentist worked hard, because that's what people do up there.

  Aaron Lines

  Dad, Oil, Long

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• My dad was a jazz fan and he used to have lots of old 78s, so I grew up with big jazz bands and the likes of Duke Ellington and Count Basie - although I really liked show tunes from those big musicals as well. I've always kept my ears open, as it were, when it comes to music. It doesn't matter to me what type of music it is. If I like it, I'll listen to it.

  Ric Sanders

  Dad, Ears, Matter

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