For modeling, I was always creating characters. I dress like a tomboy. So, when I'd go into a shoot, there'd be all these dresses, and I'd say to myself, 'Okay, this isn't me. It's somebody else. So, who is this person?' Acting is the next level of that.
A lot of the acting students would do modeling in the arts school, so there were some gorgeous girls, but the cliché in our school was to get either the really emaciated person or the really obese person - which is stupid.
You have to have a government that does give both money and energy to function in a leadership role modeling giving for the people. Government is supposed to lead by example in many cases.
Modeling is a very hard job. I know that sounds like a really shallow thing to say, but you have people pulling on your hair all day, telling you what to do, fitting you, telling you to bend over, hitting you, taking your shoes off, throwing you up against a wall - it's a lot. You have to really be able to handle yourself and bring something. It's not just enough to have a cute body and jump up in the air and go, "wow!"
Self-care is important for all of us, especially because we're in what amounts to a nationally traumatic phase. I think part of it is to remember that there is more to opposition than opposition. In other words, it's not just about recognizing and cataloguing and publicizing all the things that are going wrong; it's about modeling and celebrating the alternative.
I started modeling because I thought it would be a good stepping stone for what I was studying (marketing), but since I started it I never had any intention to fail.
I walked into my agency and I said, "You know what? I can't do this. You're telling me I need to go on a diet? My diet is already zucchini only. What do you want me to do?" And basically, they gave me two options: either stay the way I was and do commercial work, or do plus size modeling. I remember having the usual salad but I added walnuts and salmon and olive oil and I thought, "The world didn't blow up!"I felt fantastic. I wanted to keep that feeling so I made a decision that day that I didn't care. There was more money to be made being healthy.
It was always fun auditioning for commercials, because that was the beginning of my career, and me figuring out how I was going to portray myself as an actress vs. a model, because models were very different back then in the early '70s. They didn't usually hire models for acting. But I acted first in commercials and then I did modeling, so it was a little different.
When I was in the hospital getting my sex change, I was just wishing I could be a pretty girl working in a mall. If I could have a crystal ball and see what I look like now - you know, modeling, David LaChapelle, hanging out with Daphne Guinness, singing with Lil' Kim, and traveling all over the world, I'd be like, "Wow, I can't believe this."
Realization that i couldn't be a ballet dancer was a blessing in disguise because that was the first time I felt like I stepped into adulthood. I realized, Okay, this is not going to work out. It was frustrating for about a year because I didn't know what to do with the creativity and the discipline that dancing had instilled in me from a very young age. But then I moved to Paris to model, and that was my cultural awakening. Now, I think dancing has been the biggest thing in my life, much more so than modeling, and it still helps me enormously in my work.
My brother was diagnosed with autism, so it's something that hits close to home. And as I got older - especially when I started modeling and being in the city - I wanted to do help. I became involved with Autism Speaks.
Modeling is not something you excel because you are clever but is based on physical appearance, but then you have to be a businesswoman, like, to keep your longevity.
I want to stay with dancing, because that's what I want to do the rest of my life. I want to be in film and be acting and maybe even modeling a little bit.
That's the one thing that's funny about going from modeling to acting. In modeling, you're supposed to think about what you look like all the time. When you're in front of the camera, if you're not considering that, God knows what the pictures will look like. With acting, you have to completely forget it.
I think that being a conscious parent opens your eyes to the fact that any adult relationships that you have, whenever children are present on a daily basis, that they're modeling how they get along with people by what they see how you get along.
To make money in New York, you have to add gigs when starting out, so while I was acting quite a bit, I would do modeling.
I knew I liked art. I knew I liked photography. I remember seeing photos of Linda Evangelista in Italian Vogue as a teenager, and at the time I didn't know who she was. There were two photos - one shot by Fabrizio Ferri and another one by Steven Meisel. I didn't know who any of those people were. I think it was the first summer I was modeling, I saw these magazines sitting out and looked at them. I remember thinking, These are the kind of images I want to make.
I've always been a dreamer...or let's just say I kept my options open. In my heart, I knew singing was gonna be in my future, but I considered psychology, hairdressing, banking, teaching, acting, modeling, aviation, and philanthropy. I just didn't know I'd pretty much be doing all of these things eventually!
It's weird that the world sees modeling as a negative. It just blows my mind how many people think that because I was a model, I think I'm pretty and that I can use my looks to get ahead. But I'm not pretty!
Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot . . . That's all that's on my mind at the runway, just walking - it's mad. This modeling thing, it's pretty easy, but actually it's also really tough. I mean, this has been really tough. That's the most embarrassing thing about it, like, "This walking thing is crazy".
I think when I started modeling three years ago, it was just a job, and I was so excited - everything was so new, so crazy. I didn't overthink anything; I just did it and enjoyed myself along the way. But after a few seasons, you get used to it, and there's a lot you actually have to think about, and, I don't know, it just makes you much more aware of what you look like and what other people think. It's a bit of a nightmare.
Luckily for me, most of my work is through a brand or client who approaches my agent. Before I began modeling, I never realized how many barriers there were for people with disabilities within the industry. I didn't realize how much prejudice and ignorance existed. That made me even more determined to break down the barriers and to wake up the industry to the fact that beauty shows up in all different shapes, sizes and abilities.
I am affirming that the casting couch for men exists in the modeling world
I think the way my modeling career took off, I did not expect. It was definitely not a ripple in my mind. I just never thought it was going to happen like this. I'm just here and I'm having fun and I'm trying to smile and not think about it too much. That's the hardest thing in life. I think about things way too much. Ignorance is totally bliss.
All of the sudden people say, "She's got tits and legs and blond hair. Let's talk to her!" I've been paying dues for years in modeling. Not only that, it took a month and a half of Chuck Russell, The Mask's director, and Jim Carrey trying to get New Line to say O.K. on me. I didn't sleep; I had an ulcer. Of course, when people talk of paying their dues, they mean years of going to acting school and auditionin.
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