Funny Smoking Quotes - Page 2

• I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air.

  Carrie Nation

  Women, Memorable, Air

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• I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Men, Fire, Smoking

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.112, BookBaby

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• There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have.

  Trey Parker

  Vacation, Cigarette Smoke, People

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• You must have a cigarette. A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?

  Oscar Wilde

  Cigarette Smoke, Perfect, Smoking

  'The Picture of Dorian Gray' (1891) ch. 6

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• I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Weed, Marijuana

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• The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house.

  Jean Cocteau

  Addiction, House, Smoking

  Jean Cocteau, Margaret Crosland (1972). “Cocteau's world: an anthology of writings”, Owen

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• If an addict who has been completely cured starts smoking again he no longer experiences the discomfort of his first addiction. There exists, therefore, outside alkaloids and habit, a sense for opium, an intangible habit which lives on, despite the recasting of the organism. The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house.

  Jean Cocteau

  Addiction, House, Smoking

  Jean Cocteau, Margaret Crosland (1972). “Cocteau's world: an anthology of writings”, Owen

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• I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.

  Arturo Toscanini

  Girl, Best Love, Kissing

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.

  Harold Robbins

  Girl, Women, Light

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• There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

  Katharine Whitehorn

  Funny, Humorous, Gun

  The Observer, October 30, 1988.

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• Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.

  Ben Jonson

  Men, Cigarette Smoke, Smoking

  'Every Man in His Humour' (1598) act 3, sc. 5

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• Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Sex, Sleep, Animal

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.10, BookBaby

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• I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

  George Burns

  Funny, Humor, Smoking

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• The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Suicide, Smoking, Reason

  "Welcome to the Monkey House". Book by Kurt Vonnegut (Preface), 1968.

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• Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.

  Florence King

  Morning, Sex, Cigarette Smoke

  Florence King (1991). “Lump It Or Leave It”, p.10, Macmillan

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• I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

  Benny Hill

  Cigarette Smoke, Smoking, One Day

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Oscar Wilde: 'Do you mind if I smoke?' Sarah Bernhardt: 'I don't care if you burn.'

  Sarah Bernhardt

  Smoking, Mind, Care

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• A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.

  King James I

  Sports, Eye, Cigarette Smoke

  "A Counterblaste to Tobacco". 1604.

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• aven, I have given up smoking again!... God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.

  A. P. Herbert

  Men, Smoking, Rude

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