Funny Science Quotes

• Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  Albert Einstein (2013). “Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives”, p.57, Princeton University Press

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• If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

  Albert Einstein

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• If you torture the data long enough, it will confess.

  Ronald Coase

  Truth, Knowledge, Data

  "A Comment on Daniel Klein's 'A Plea to Economists Who Favor Liberty'" by Gordon Tullock, Eastern Economic Journal, 2001.

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

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• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Hilarious, Education

  Albert Einstein (2015). “Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century”, p.32, St. Martin's Press

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• Science can never solve one problem without raising ten more problems.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Sarcastic, Science, Creating

  "Einstein on Cosmic Religion and Other Opinions and Aphorisms".

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• Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition.

  Adam Smith

  Science, Flames, Enthusiasm

  The Wealth of Nations Bk V, Ch. 1

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• The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.

  Adam Savage

  Funny, Writing, Science

  TV Series "MythBusters" ("Bouncing Bullet", 2012), (2003- ).

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• In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

  Douglas Adams

  Funny, God, Crazy

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Fit the Fifth" (radio program) (1978)

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• If you think research is expensive, try disease!

  Mary Lasker

  Sarcastic, Thinking, Trying

  "The Lasker Legacy". www.laskerfoundation.org.

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• In physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself - nature does it for you.

  Frank Wilczek

  Funny, Science, Doe

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• The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

  Isaac Asimov

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  "Betting On a Bass That Belts Them Out; Singing Fish Becomes Season’s Unlikely Hit" by Darragh Johnson, The Washington Post, July 30, 2000.

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• I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.

  Arthur C. Clarke

  Science, Intelligent, Space

  IRC discussion with Gentry Lee at Sci Fi Channel, November 1, 1996.

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• What is a scientist after all? It is a curious man looking through a keyhole, the keyhole of nature, trying to know what's going on.

  Jacques Yves Cousteau

  Science, Men, Curiosity

  Christian Science Monitor, July 21, 1971.

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• Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Life, Spiritual

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• Science does not know its debt to imagination.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Science, Imagination, Doe

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (2010). “Collected Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Volume VIII: Letters and Social Aims”, p.5, Harvard University Press

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• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

  Rick Cook

  Winning, Technology, Race

  "The Wizardry Compiled". Book by Rick Cook, 1989.

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• I have had my results for a long time: but I do not yet know how I am to arrive at them.

  Carl Friedrich Gauss

  Time, Math, Science

  "The Mind and the Eye: A Study of the Biologist's Standpoint". Book by A. Arber, 1954.

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• The great tragedy of science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.

  Thomas Huxley

  Beauty, Beautiful, Education

  "Biogenesis and Abiogenesis" (1870)

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• There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

  Douglas Adams

  Funny, Education, Humor

  The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "Fit the Seventh" (radio program) (1978)

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• Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

  Pablo Picasso

  Funny, Witty, Technology

  Quoted inWilliam Fifield, In Search of Genius (1982)

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• 

  Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

  Wernher von Braun

  Wisdom, Witty, Humorous

  "Work, Society, and Culture". The New York Times, December 16, 1957.

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• Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

  Howard Aiken

  Life And Love, Business, Congratulations

  "A Computer Science Reader : Selections from Abacus" by Eric A. Weiss, (p. 404), 1988.

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• Molecular biology is essentially the practice of biochemistry without a license.

  Erwin Chargaff

  Science, Practice, Molecular Biology

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• When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Girl, Witty

  "News Chronicle" (March 14, 1949), as cited by "The Columbia World of Quotations", 1996.

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