Funny Marriage Advice Quotes - Page 2

• Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.

  Richard Pryor

  Marriage, Funny Love, Love You

  Quoted in Robert Byrne, The Third and Possibly the Best 637 Things Anybody Ever Said (1986)

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• I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

  Lyndon B. Johnson

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  119 Copy quote

• Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

  Ogden Nash

  Inspirational, Life, Marriage

  Ogden Nash, “A Word To Husbands”

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• Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Family, Marriage, Funny Love

  Poor Richard's Almanack, June 1738

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• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

  258 Copy quote

• Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

  Georg C. Lichtenberg

  Funny, Marriage, Witty

  22 Copy quote

• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

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• Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

  Rita Rudner

  Funny, Marriage, Pain

  Rita Rudner (2008). “I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething”, p.86, Crown Archetype

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• Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.

  Simone Signoret

  Love, Anniversary, Marriage

  72 Copy quote

• Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

  Billy Connolly

  Marriage, Funny Love, Wedding

  Twitter post from Sep 12, 2011

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• 

  Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

  Will Ferrell

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  66 Copy quote

• After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

  Hemant Joshi

  Marriage, Clever, Husband

  39 Copy quote

• If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

  Johnny Carson

  Funny, Life, Marriage

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  58 Copy quote

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