Funny Happy Halloween Quotes

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

Rita Rudner

Halloween, Doors, People

"Jokes over easy: 1,386 delicious jokes from the best comedians" by Judy Brown, Barnes & Noble, (p. 112), 2006.

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Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

William Shakespeare

Halloween, Memorable, Play

'Macbeth' (1606) act 4, sc. 1, l. 4

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Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it’s like an excuse for Halloween everyday.

Gwen Stefani

Halloween, Band, Want

"Gwen Stefani Rocked The Sheer Trend Back In The ‘90s" by Amanda McGowan, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 20, 2012.

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Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

Chris Rock

Funny, Stars, Halloween

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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Erma Bombeck

Relationship, Fun, Halloween

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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

Mark Twain

Funny, Fake People, Halloween

Following the Equator ch. 66, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar" (1897)

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The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown

H. P. Lovecraft

Fear, Halloween, Scary

H. P. Lovecraft (2014). “Complete Collection Of H. P. Lovecraft - 150 eBooks With 100+ Audiobooks (Complete Collection Of Lovecraft's Fiction, Juvenilia, Poems, Essays And Collaborations)”, p.11, Ageless Reads

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I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

Henry David Thoreau

Lonely, Halloween, Fall

Henry David Thoreau, Laura Ross (2009). “Walden, Or, Life in the Woods: Bold-faced Ideas for Living a Truly Transcendent Life”, p.50, Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.

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Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

Edgar Allan Poe

Love, Dream, Art

"The Raven" l. 25 (1845)

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But I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.

Evan Peters

Halloween, Air, Feelings

"'American Horror Story' Season 2: Evan Peters Says It’s Really, Really Scary". Interview with Chris Jancelewicz, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 16, 2012.

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This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

Conan O'Brien

Funny, Halloween, Sound

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Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Halloween, Imagination, Scary

Study in Scarlet (1888) ch. 5

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You wouldn't believe On All Hallow Eve What lots of fun we can make, With apples to bob, And nuts on the hob, And a ring-and-thimble cake.

Carolyn Wells

Happy, Fun, Halloween

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Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.

Dee Snider

Halloween, Scary, House

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Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

William Shakespeare

Dog, Powerful, Halloween

'Macbeth' (1606) act 4, sc. 1, l. 14

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Bring forth the raisins and the nuts-
Tonight All-Hallows' Spectre struts
Along the moonlit way.

John Kendrick Bangs

Halloween, Nuts, Way

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Alone. Yes, that's the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.

Stephen King

Halloween, Keys, Awful

Stephen King (2008). “'Salem's Lot”, p.315, Anchor

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There is something haunting in the light of the moon.

Joseph Conrad

Halloween, Moon, Light

Joseph Conrad (1905). “Lord Jim”, p.230, McClure, Phillips & Company

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Never take candy from strangers.

Rita Rudner

Halloween, Candy Corn, Stranger

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As spirits roam the neighborhoods at night, Let loose upon the Earth till it be light.

Nick Gordon

Halloween, Night, Light

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Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve.... And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.

Elizabeth Kim

Halloween, Dark, Moon

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Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a lightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat.

Nick Gordon

Sweet, Halloween, Innocence

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I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.

Robert Breault

Halloween, Real, Kids

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I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Charles S. Swartz

Fun, Halloween, Scary

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On Halloween, witches come true; Wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.

Nick Gordon

Happy, Dream, Halloween

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