Funny Football Quotes

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  The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

  Phyllis Diller

  Football, Motivational Sports, Inspiration

  103 Copy quote

• If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

  Erma Bombeck

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  Erma Bombeck (2013). “If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?”, p.151, Open Road Media

  88 Copy quote

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• You guys line up alphabetically by height.

  Bill Peterson

  Sports, Football, Guy

  19 Copy quote

• Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck.

  Don Shula

  Funny, Sports, Football

  79 Copy quote

• Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

  Joe Theismann

  Funny, Sports, Football

  "Conrad Smith sees USA challenge in all black and white: it's about the win" by Alexander Bisley, www.theguardian.com. October 30, 2014.

  61 Copy quote

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• Football isn't a contact sport, it's a collision sport.

  Duffy Daugherty

  Sports, Football, Nfl Players

  Quoted in L.A. Times, 5 Oct. 1963

  20 Copy quote

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• Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.

  Vince Lombardi

  Motivational, Dance, Sports

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  20 Copy quote

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• I'm a firm believer that all sports will eventually be global. Someday, we may have a quarterback from China named Yao Fling.

  Paul Tagliabue

  Funny, Sports, Football

  8 Copy quote

• One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.

  Alan Shearer

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  14 Copy quote
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  If my mother put on a helmet and shoulder pads and a uniform that wasn't the same as the one I was wearing, I'd run over her if she was in my way. And I love my mother.

  Bo Jackson

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Bo Jackson, Dick Schaap (1990). “Bo knows Bo: the autobiography of a ballplayer”, Doubleday Books

  93 Copy quote

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• The Refrigerator" Perry: "I've been big ever since I was little.

  Prince William

  Football, Nfl, Littles

  10 Copy quote

• Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Sports, Football, Agriculture

  Quoted in Colin Jarman The Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

  33 Copy quote

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• I wouldn't be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league.

  Mark Viduka

  Inspirational, Motivational, Soccer

  8 Copy quote

• When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

  Dick Butkus

  Sports, Football, Hurt

  82 Copy quote

• I'd catch a punt naked, in the snow, in Buffalo, for a chance to play in the NFL.

  Steve Henderson

  Football, Play, Nfl

  9 Copy quote

• I'm as happy as I can be-but I have been happier.

  Ugo Ehiogu

  Soccer, Football, Footy

  46 Copy quote

• I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.

  Barry Venison

  Soccer, Football, Intellectual

  48 Copy quote

• American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

  Sue Lawley

  Football, Party, Nfl

  47 Copy quote

• Terry Bradshaw couldn’t spell ‘cat’ if you spotted him the ‘C’ and the ‘A’.

  Thomas Henderson

  Cat, Nfl Players, Nfl Football

  Thomas Henderson (1988). “Out of Control”, Pocket

  8 Copy quote

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• Germany are a very difficult team to play... they have eleven internationals out there today.

  Steve Lomas

  Funny, Soccer, Team

  8 Copy quote

• Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.

  Woody Hayes

  Football, Jail, Funny Sports

  55 Copy quote

• Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.

  Frank Gifford

  Sports, Football, Nfl

  53 Copy quote

• When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team.

  George Raveling

  Basketball, Football, Running

  13 Copy quote

• I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.

  Les Ferdinand

  Funny, Soccer, Football

  15 Copy quote

• I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.

  Jack Tatum

  Motivational, Soccer, Football

  Jack Tatum, Bill Kushner (1980). “They Call Me Assassin”, Avon Books

  13 Copy quote

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