Funny Computer Quotes

• A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

  Dave Barry

  Light, Three, Paper

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• Any fool can use a computer. Many do.

  Ted Nelson

  Technology, Use, Fool

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• If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

  Edsger Dijkstra

  Funny, Debugging, Bugs

  110 Copy quote

• The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.

  Bill Gates

  Computer, Problem, Born

  46 Copy quote

• Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

  Rick Cook

  Winning, Technology, Race

  "The Wizardry Compiled". Book by Rick Cook, 1989.

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  A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Motivational Sports, Humorous

  173 Copy quote

• I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

  Isaac Asimov

  Inspiring, Fear, Humorous

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

  Paul R. Ehrlich

  Inspirational, Funny, Witty

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• Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.

  John F. Kennedy

  Inspirational, Technology, Men

  1963 Speech, 21 May.

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• The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.

  Edsger Dijkstra

  Technology, Thinking, Swim

  Interview with Jack Schofield, www.theguardian.com. August 19, 2002.

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• To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

  Robert Orben

  Work, Technology, Geek

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• On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

  Scott Adams

  Life, Wisdom, Keys

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• Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

  Donald Knuth

  Funny Inspirational, Reading, Following Instructions

  Donald Ervin Knuth (1984). “The texbook”, Addison-Wesley Professional

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• The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

  Sydney J. Harris

  Real, Math, Technology

  67 Copy quote

• A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind.

  Joseph Weizenbaum

  Work, Technology, Mind

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• Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.

  Larry Wall

  Technology, Jurassic Park, Design

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• I think computer viruses should count as life.

  Stephen Hawking

  Thinking, Viruses, Aliens

  Speech at Macworld Expo in Boston, August 4, 1994.

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  Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

  Joseph Campbell

  Inspirational, Technology, Civilization

  "Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth (The Message of the Myth)". TV Mini-Series, June 22, 1988.

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• Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

  Arthur C. Clarke

  Science, Technology, Possible And Impossible

  Letter to the editor, Science, 19 Jan. 1968.

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• Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

  Pablo Picasso

  Funny, Witty, Technology

  Quoted inWilliam Fifield, In Search of Genius (1982)

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• Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

  Andy Rooney

  Witty, Work, Technology

  57 Copy quote

• Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

  Doug Larson

  Education, Dog, Home

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• The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.

  Seymour Cray

  Technology, Too Late, Coders

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• If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

  Scott Adams

  Technology, Done, Condescension And

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• Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

  Brian Kernighan

  Inspirational, Funny, Smart

  93 Copy quote