Artemis Fowl Quotes

• Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

  Eoin Colfer

  Mean, Decision, Fowl

  54 Copy quote

• Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

  Eoin Colfer

  Hollies, Fowl, Said

  56 Copy quote

• Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

  Eoin Colfer

  Thinking, Doctors, Fowl

  52 Copy quote

• Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

  Eoin Colfer

  Boys, Scratches, Earth

  Eoin Colfer (2014). “Artemis Fowl:”, p.749, Penguin UK

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• If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.

  Eoin Colfer

  Crazy, Winning, Fowl

  Eoin Colfer (2003). “Artemis Fowl”, Miramax

  18 Copy quote

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• A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.

  Eoin Colfer

  Years, Criminals, Twelve

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

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• And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.

  Eoin Colfer

  Hunting, Archery, Names

  60 Copy quote

• I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

  Eoin Colfer

  Clever, Would Be, Scared

  48 Copy quote

• Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.

  Eoin Colfer

  Hurt, Ambition, Fowl

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

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• Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.

  Eoin Colfer

  Mother, School, Doctors

  "Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident". Book by Eoin Colfer, 2002.

  12 Copy quote

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• Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.

  Eoin Colfer

  Confidence, Humorous, Cocky

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

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• It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

  Eoin Colfer

  Fowl, Unicorn, Never Forget

  41 Copy quote

• I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

  Eoin Colfer

  Knives, Two, Wire

  9 Copy quote

• I don't like lollipops.

  Eoin Colfer

  Lollipop, Artemis

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

  67 Copy quote

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• Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.

  Eoin Colfer

  Fowl, Artemis, Humans

  Eoin Colfer (2003). “Artemis Fowl”, Miramax

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• But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.

  Eoin Colfer

  Heart, Teeth, Plenty

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”, Disney-Hyperion

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• Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?

  Eoin Colfer

  Doctors, Chairs, Victorian

  Eoin Colfer (2002). “Artemis fowl: the Arctic incident”

  8 Copy quote

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• Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselves did nothing to debunk. They had somehow got it into their heads that each fairy lugged around a pot of gold with him wherever he went. While it was true that LEP had a ransom fund, because of its officers' high-risk occupation, no human had ever taken a chunk of it yet. This didn't stop the Irish population in general from skulking around rainbows, hoping to win the supernatural lottery.

  Eoin Colfer

  Crazy, Taken, Winning

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

  7 Copy quote

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• Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.

  Eoin Colfer

  Nsa, Hollies, Building

  7 Copy quote

• The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.

  Eoin Colfer

  Textbooks, Answers, Care

  Eoin Colfer (2003). “Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident - Book #2”, Miramax

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• Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.

  Eoin Colfer

  Team, Water, Cracks

  Eoin Colfer (2014). “Artemis Fowl:”, p.108, Penguin UK

  58 Copy quote

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• I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.

  Eoin Colfer

  Fowl, Way, Rooms

  Eoin Colfer (2010). “Artemis Fowl”, p.174, Penguin UK

  9 Copy quote

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• Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

  Eoin Colfer

  Mean, Fowl, Quiet

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

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• Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

  Eoin Colfer

  Team, World, Fowl

  53 Copy quote

• (to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!

  Eoin Colfer

  Buttons, Towers, Fowl

  Eoin Colfer (2001). “Artemis Fowl”

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