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  • If your house is on fire and you can only escape with your life and one thing, what one thing would you take out of your house? I got to think my laptop is the one thing that is totally irreplaceable. Either that or my son. Laptop. I'll go laptop.

    "Anthony Jeselnik on Sharon Stone, thankless open mics, and his evil plan". Interview with Marah Eakin, www.avclub.com. October 16, 2015.
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