There's no such thing as failure - just waiting for success.
Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.
Don't clap too hard - it's a very old building.
They spend their time looking forward to the past.
Don't be afraid of being emotional. You won't die of it.
Go on - but don't think you can kill my confidence. I've had experts doing it for years.
It is not true that drink changes a man's character. It may reveal it more clearly.
The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a childminder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.
Censorship is the commonest social blasphemy because it is mostly concealed, built into us by indolence, self-interest and cowardice.
Let's pretend that we're human beings and that we're actually alive.
You see I learnt at an early age what it was to be angry - angry and helpless. And I can never forget it. I knew more about - love... betrayal... and death, when I was ten years old than you will probably ever know in your life.
A refined sort of butcher, a woman is.
Laughter's the nearest we ever get, or should get, to sainthood. It's the state of grace that saves most of us from contempt.
Writers don't need love; all they require is money.
I never deliberately set out to shock, but when people don't walk out of my plays I think there is something wrong.
I must be the luckiest man in the world. Not only am I bisexual, I am also Welsh.
Royalty is the gold filling in a mouthful of decay
It is easy to answer the ultimate questions - it saves you bothering with the immediate ones.
In London, love and scandal are considered the best sweeteners of tea.
And even in the hatred of the majority, there's a kind of triumph because I know that, although they'd never admit it, they secretly respect me.
Oh heavens, how I long for a little ordinary human enthusiasm. Just enthusiasm - that's all. I want to hear a warm, thrilling voice cry out Hallelujah! Hallelujah! I'm alive!
We all of us waited for him to die. The family sent him a check every month, and hoped he'd get on with it quietly, without too much vulgar fuss.
That voice that cries out doesn't have to be a weakling's does it?
Here we are, we're alone in the universe, there's no God, it just seems that it all began by something as simple as sunlight striking on a piece of rock. And here we are. We've only got ourselves. Somehow, we've just got to make a go of it. We've only ourselves.
George Bernard Shaw writes like a Pakistani who has learned English when he was twelve years old in order to become an accountant.
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