Ian Holloway Quotes

Quotes about:

Birds Football House

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

Ian Holloway

League, Mermaid, Making Love

46 Copy quote
To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee.

Ian Holloway

Football, Nice, Coffee

"Gordon Strachan V Ian Holloway: Sportsmail Picks Their Top 10 Funny Quotes Ahead of Middlesbrough's Showdown With Blackpool". www.dailymail.co.uk. December 08, 2009.

47 Copy quote
I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose that's one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.

Ian Holloway

Football, Men, Games

50 Copy quote
If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

Ian Holloway

Thumbs, Barrels, Ifs

9 Copy quote
Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

Ian Holloway

Football, Dog, Want

12 Copy quote
I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

Ian Holloway

Football, Dark, League

"Cardiff City V Blackpool: the Wit and Wisdom of Ian Holloway". www.telegraph.co.uk. May 21, 2010.

52 Copy quote
If you're a burglar, it's no good waiting about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy.

Ian Holloway

Swag, Waiting, House

9 Copy quote
I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

Ian Holloway

Football, Badgers, Mating

4 Copy quote
Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon.

Ian Holloway

Stars, Moon, Sometimes

10 Copy quote
I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

Ian Holloway

Football, Champions League, Two

11 Copy quote
You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You just hoped they came out of the nest box looking all right. I'm like a swan at the moment. I look fine on top of the water but under the water my little legs are going mad.

Ian Holloway

Football, Thinking, Swans

12 Copy quote
It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

Ian Holloway

Football, Play, Piano

"'If I Fell in a Barrel of Boobs, I'd Come Out Sucking My Thumb!' - the Wisdom of Ian Holloway". www.standard.co.uk. May 24, 2010.

8 Copy quote
You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

Ian Holloway

Football, Dog, League

"Holloway Faces Rap Over Sepp Loony Jibe". www.mirror.co.uk. January 09, 2007.

20 Copy quote
He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird.

Ian Holloway

Laughing, Bird, Sake

6 Copy quote
Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

Ian Holloway

Eye, Sharks, Drink

5 Copy quote
My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

Ian Holloway

Night, Would Be, Balls

6 Copy quote
I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

Ian Holloway

Football, League, Needs

4 Copy quote
My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

Ian Holloway

Football, Running, Truth

11 Copy quote
In football you need to have everything in your cake mix to make the cake taste right. One little bit of ingredient that Tony uses in his cake that gets talked about all the time is Rory's throw. Call that cinnamon and he's got a cinnamon flavoured cake.

Ian Holloway

Football, Cake, League

"Blackpool Boss Ian Holloway Defends Tactics Of Stoke Counterpart Tony Pulis In Typically Eccentric Fashion". www.goal.com. December 11, 2010.

16 Copy quote
This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.

Ian Holloway

Football, Tired, League

"Premier League predictions: Will Chelsea or Man City come out on top in the battle of the title contenders?" by Simon Bird, www.mirror.co.uk. October 25, 2013.

10 Copy quote
Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

Ian Holloway

Football, Vintage, League

"Ian Holloway in His Own Words". www.bbc.com. November 03, 2012.

16 Copy quote
Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.

Ian Holloway

Thinking, Player, Doe

7 Copy quote
My ceiling's broken, my car's got a puncture and we've just lost two matches. But I've got my health and I'll ask the big man upstairs why he didn't give us a point.

Ian Holloway

Men, Two, Car

4 Copy quote
It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

Ian Holloway

Football, League, Lucky

"Manchester United's Sir Alex Ferguson v Blackpool's Ian Holloway: Who is the king of quotes?". www.goal.com. January 25, 2011.

6 Copy quote
I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.

Ian Holloway

Football, League, Half

7 Copy quote

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Ian Holloway

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Born: March 12, 1963
Occupation: Football manager
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