Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
When I was a kid in Nebraska, a cantankerous farmer, known for plinking with his '22 at passing cars in which he perceived enemies, ingeniously rigged up a shotgun in his house, trained on the inside of his front door so as to widely distribute any intruder.
I always wanted to live in a haunted house.
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