Christ: I dislike him very much. Still, I can stand him. What I cannot stand is the wretched band of people whose profession is to hoodwink us about him.
A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
Life is not an exact science, it is an art.
Belief like any other moving body follows the path of least resistance.
Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it, shall perish by it.
To give pain is the tyranny; to make happy, the true empire of beauty.
Our minds want clothes as much as our bodies.
Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one.
To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.
The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
Most people have never learned that one of the main aims in life is to enjoy it.
Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fighting at once.
Academic and aristocratic people live in such an uncommon atmosphere that common sense can rarely reach them.
People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect.
Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.
A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.
Words are not as satisfactory as we should like them to be, but, like our neighbours, we have got to live with them and must make the best and not the worst of them.
From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
Prayers are to men as dolls are to children.
God and the Devil are an effort after specialisation and division of labour.
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