Art Buchwald Quotes - Page 2

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Books Fighting Hell House Inspirational War Wife

I don't know what's coming next and neither does anyone else. It's something that we do have to face but the thing is that a lot of people don't want to face it. And there's denial. If somebody says it, like me, everybody feels a little better that they can discuss it.

Art Buchwald

Future, People, Doe

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If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.

Art Buchwald

Sadness, Yesterday, Live In The Moment

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Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

Art Buchwald

Thinking, Stupidity, Television

Art Buchwald (1968). “Have I ever lied to you?”

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As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Art Buchwald

Get Better, Economy

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Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

Art Buchwald

Food, Dinner, Way

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... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

Art Buchwald

Afterlife, Funny Graduation, Profound

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People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.

Art Buchwald

Dope, Men, People

"Have I Ever Lied to You?". Book by Art Buchwald, 1968.

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Television has a real problem. They have no page two. Consequently every big story gets the same play and comes across to the viewer as a really big, scary one.

Art Buchwald

Real, Media, Play

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The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Art Buchwald

Food, Water, Cooking

New York Herald Tribune, December 29, 1960.

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I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

Art Buchwald

Writing, Fighting, Wife

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I earned my stripes as a Marine, and the Corps gets full credit for straightening me out. At 17, I was young, I was unhappy and most of all, I was undisciplined. The Marine Corps was the right service in the right place at the right time.

Art Buchwald

Marine, Stripes, Unhappy

Art Buchwald (1993). “Leaving home: a memoir”, Putnam Pub Group

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People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

Art Buchwald

Humor, People, Trying

Art Buchwald (1994). “Leaving home: a memoir”, Thorndike Pr

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The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.

Art Buchwald

Golf, Play, Ivy

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Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

Art Buchwald

Talking, Political, Television

Art Buchwald (1978). “Washington is leaking”, Fawcett Books

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I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.

Art Buchwald

Inspirational, Laughter, Laughing

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On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive.

Art Buchwald

Morning, Alive, Happy To Be Alive

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No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

Art Buchwald

Country, War, Fighting

Art Buchwald (1994). “Leaving home: a memoir”, Thorndike Pr

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When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay. But here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

Art Buchwald

Health, Two, Would Be

"The Man Who Would Not Die". "Having a High Time Where You'd Least Expect It" by Art Buchwald, www.washingtonpost.com. March 7, 2006.

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I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

Art Buchwald

Home, Marine, Youth

Art Buchwald (1994). “Leaving home: a memoir”, Thorndike Pr

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The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

Art Buchwald

United States, Statistics, Buffalo

Art Buchwald (1957). “The Brave Coward”

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I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

Art Buchwald

Suicide, New York, Bipolar

Art Buchwald (1994). “Leaving home: a memoir”, Thorndike Pr

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When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

Art Buchwald

Writing, Wine, Funny Wine

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Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.

Art Buchwald

Running, Tests, Doe

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The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.

Art Buchwald

Party, Book, Writing

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As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed [hotel] reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it. You'll either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head.

Art Buchwald

Travel, Sleep, Good Friend

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Born: October 20, 1925
Died: January 17, 2007
Occupation: Humorist
Cite this Page: Citation

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