James Finn Garner Quotes

• Alas, if worth be based on beauty, Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.

  James Finn Garner

  White, Snow, Alas

  James Finn Garner (2011). “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories”, p.30, Souvenir Press

  5 Copy quote

• He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.

  James Finn Garner

  Grandma, House, Action

  James Finn Garner (2011). “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories”, p.6, Souvenir Press

  8 Copy quote

• Goldilocks
  [There] lived a family of bearstogether anthropomorphically in a little cottage as a nuclear family. They were very sorry about this, of course, since the nuclear family has traditionally served to enslave womyn, instill a self-righteous moralism in its members, and imprint rigid notions of heterosexualist roles onto the next generation. [They named] their offspring the non-gender-specific "Baby.

  James Finn Garner

  Baby, Sorry, Self

  6 Copy quote

• The emperor is naked!" The parade stopped. The emperor paused. A hush fell over the crowd, until one quick-thinking peasant shouted: "No, he isn't. The emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!

  James Finn Garner

  Thinking, Naked, Crowds

  James Finn Garner (1994). “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories”, MacMillan Publishing Company

  4 Copy quote

• The wolf said, "You know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone." Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid worldview. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be on my way.

  James Finn Garner

  Girl, Stress, Riding

  "Politically Correct Bedtime Stories: Modern Tales for Our Life and Times (Little Red Riding Hood - A Politically Correct Fairy Tale)". Book by James Finn Garner, 1994.

  59 Copy quote

• The Emperor is merely endorsing a clothing-optional lifestyle!

  James Finn Garner

  Lifestyle, Emperor, Clothings

  James Finn Garner (2011). “Politically Correct Bedtime Stories”, p.9, Souvenir Press

  4 Copy quote

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